89% Of Americans Think The French Talk Funny

According To Most Americans, People Who Live Here Talk Funny

According To Most Americans, People Who Live Here Talk Funny

French Toast Town, France.   Shocking news was released today by MIT Linguists Professor, Connie Servative in regards to a 15 year study she conducted to determine what percentage of Americans think the French talk funny.  “Precisely 89% of Americans have a feeling deep in their gut that French people talk funny,” Professor Servative said earlier.  “That is a much higher number than the 34% I expected to find 15 years ago when I first began this exhaustive study.   As any decent American can tell you, French people speak in a strange, primitive language that is nowhere near as advanced as the superior form of American we Americans speak.  However, I did not expect so many Americans I surveyed to say French people sounded funny when they talk.  Americans usually have much better manners than to admit such thoughts out loud to people they don’t really know.   Since so many of them did admit this to me, I can only conclude that, indeed, not only do French people speak a language much more primitive than American, it also sounds funny when they speak it.  Hopefully the results of this survey will help the French move into the 21st Century and learn proper American like we Americans speak.  Perhaps then so many Americans won’t think they sound funny when they talk.”

Dead Actor, Peter O’Toole, Signed To Play Spiderman

 Spiderman

The New Spidey

Websville, Mississippi.  “We searched for several months and tested several hundred actors to play Spiderman in our upcoming films,” said Marvel Studios President, Kevin Feige earlier today.  “We finally decided that none of them were able to hold a match up to the acting talents of Sir Peter O’Toole, even though he’s dead.  We at Marvel Studios pride ourselves in casting only the finest actors to play our iconic heroes in our films.  Why should something like death stand in the way of Sir Peter playing high school student Peter Parker, aka Spiderman?  Talent is talent.  Dead or alive.  We’re hoping to make the best Spiderman movies possible, and with Peter O’Toole’s corpse signed for 6 of our films, we feel we’ve taken one helluva step in making that hope a reality.  Exiting times are ahead for good ole Web-head, Marvel fans, just you wait and see.”