Los Angeles, California. George and Amal Clooney’s recently born twins were arrested earlier today after a local paparazzi, Jimmy Inurface, claimed they struck him repeatedly on the shins when he tried to photograph them. “It was a horrifying experience,” Mr. Inurface said earlier. “I saw the twins exiting a Honda Civic on Hollywood Boulevard late last night, so I calmly approached them to ask if I could take their picture. In unison, they told me to go f**k myself then plummeted my shins with their tiny hands. This continued until I took out my phone and dialed 911. At that point, the twins returned to their vehicle and sped off after giving me the raspberries.
Though they’re only infants, the battering they gave my shins has caused me great physical and emotional pain. Besides pressing criminal assault charges, I’m going to sue those brats for all they, and their hot-shot parents, are worth. I mean, what kinda dead beat parents let their newborn twins drive around all night in a Honda Civic anyway? They deserve to be sued for that alone.”
Washington, D.C. Just a day after former FBI Director James Comey gave his testimony about Donald Trump to Congress, he was found dead in an alley behind the White House with 6 bullets in his head. “This is an obvious suicide,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer. “Clearly, Mr. Comey was distraught after telling all those horrible lies to Congress about his conversations with President Trump. He must have immediately regretted his words, gotten drunk, purchased a .38 caliber pistol, wandered into an alley behind the White House, and shot himself 6 times in the head. SAD! Isn’t it? This shocking and tragic act by Mr. Comey proves, without any possibility of doubt, that President Trump is the most innocent, most persecuted, most unfairly judged President who has ever, ever lived. President Trump, and those closest to him, would like to send their condolences to Mr. Comey’s family and friends, but they can’t because they’re so fuckin’ happy he’s dead. Good riddance, ya’ lyin’ bastard, ya’.”
Stuff From the Self-Indulgent World of Tom Brevoort
Forged by and for fans of J.R.R. Tolkien
Things I want to say about this, that, and the other thing.
Comics, Creators, Culture
Be curious. Be skeptical. Be humble.
The many wonderful things in my Toy Box
Activating America's Voters
Ripping News and Cutting Satire Since 1888
Independent views from someone who offers some historical context
An Online Record of his Hate Speech Including Anti-gay Propaganda and the Minimising of Child Rape.
by E.B. de Mas, reachable at: email@example.com
Someone's got to say it, so it might as well be me
Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner
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Analysis & Discussion For Political Uncertainty
Ideas and musings from a middle-aged 20 something
Let's face it, your religion is probably wrong.
Cogito Ergo Sum
One minute info blogs escaping the faith trap
A photo journal of my interests from one extreme to the other.
Life at № 42 by E.M. Coutinho
Random musings about everything.
Be aware - may contain spiders and swearing
Welcome — Come Immerse, Convalesce, Spark Dialogue or Simply Discern
The Wanderings and wonderings of a sentient cloud.
*Not really about marriage. Welcome anyway.
Smexy Historical Romance
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war some of the time
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THE DRIVELLINGS OF TWATTERSLEY FROMAGE
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How one atheist sees life
NeuroResearchProject.com -- It's about the brain. It's about the environment. It's about being human.
poetry, thoughts, quotations
For the establishment of secular, liberal, humanist and republican orbital space settlements
Don't ask me to be an idiot