Los Angeles, California. George and Amal Clooney’s recently born twins were arrested earlier today after a local paparazzi, Jimmy Inurface, claimed they struck him repeatedly on the shins when he tried to photograph them. “It was a horrifying experience,” Mr. Inurface said earlier. “I saw the twins exiting a Honda Civic on Hollywood Boulevard late last night, so I calmly approached them to ask if I could take their picture. In unison, they told me to go f**k myself then plummeted my shins with their tiny hands. This continued until I took out my phone and dialed 911. At that point, the twins returned to their vehicle and sped off after giving me the raspberries.
Though they’re only infants, the battering they gave my shins has caused me great physical and emotional pain. Besides pressing criminal assault charges, I’m going to sue those brats for all they, and their hot-shot parents, are worth. I mean, what kinda dead beat parents let their newborn twins drive around all night in a Honda Civic anyway? They deserve to be sued for that alone.”
Washington, D.C. Just a day after former FBI Director James Comey gave his testimony about Donald Trump to Congress, he was found dead in an alley behind the White House with 6 bullets in his head. “This is an obvious suicide,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer. “Clearly, Mr. Comey was distraught after telling all those horrible lies to Congress about his conversations with President Trump. He must have immediately regretted his words, gotten drunk, purchased a .38 caliber pistol, wandered into an alley behind the White House, and shot himself 6 times in the head. SAD! Isn’t it? This shocking and tragic act by Mr. Comey proves, without any possibility of doubt, that President Trump is the most innocent, most persecuted, most unfairly judged President who has ever, ever lived. President Trump, and those closest to him, would like to send their condolences to Mr. Comey’s family and friends, but they can’t because they’re so fuckin’ happy he’s dead. Good riddance, ya’ lyin’ bastard, ya’.”
Let me tell you Justine's story
Where are we going today?
Life at № 42
Random musings about everything.
Be aware - may contain spiders and swearing
Unabashed Life-o-naut, Psych-o-naut, Time-traveler, Path-finder, and Marrow-sucker!
Fun info on beauty, travel, living & looking better
Seriously Humorous - Humorously Serious.
T.I.S.H. WORLD NEWS
The Mind Works Best With Coffee
The Wanderings and wonderings of a sentient cloud.
*Not really about marriage. Welcome anyway.
Find the webcomic at lmgcomic.com
Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner
Smexy Historical Romance
A welcoming space for resistance to the forces of oppression and hegemony.
Mostly mundane science fiction and world building
The Many Things In My Toy Box ....my view may change due to verifiable evidence
Comic-books, Horror movies, Video-games...oh my!
Picturing the bleak
philosophy, secular buddhism, culture, semiotics
war some of the time
A French girl's musings...
Into the Gray
THE DRIVELLINGS OF TWATTERSLEY FROMAGE
Social commentary from a perspective of moral secularism
How one atheist sees life
NeuroResearchProject.com -- It's about the brain. It's about the environment. It's about being human.
For the establishment of secular, liberal, humanist and republican space settlements
Don't ask me to be an idiot