This had me laughing so hard I peed a little. Spot on satire. NOW That’s What I Call Racist
Monthly Archives: August 2018
Donald Trump, Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell To Form New Boy Band
QAnon Village, Ohio. Donald Trump, Paul Ryan, and Mitch McConnell announced today they are forming a new boy band called The Treasonous Three. “Let me tell you something,” President Trump said earlier, “Mitch, Paul, and I can harmonize like angels singing to Jesus when we belt out tunes. We noticed how wonderful we sound together at Vladimir Putin’s birthday party a few months back while we were sing, For He’s A Jolly Good Comrade to him. We sounded so dulcet and sweet we literally brought tears to Vlad’s eyes. Right then and there, President Putin decided we should form a boy band called The Treasonous Three, and he committed to being our manager. He’s already been managing our political policies for years, so, we thought, why the hell not this, too. We will be touring Russia and Ukraine in September, and then we’ll come home to tour America just in time for the November midterms, elections that President Putin has ensured us will most definitely go our way. So, be sure to watch for the time and date we’ll be in your home town, so you can enjoy the lovely harmonies of The Treasonous Three up close and personal. You most certainly don’t want to miss it while a treasonous trio is singing right in your own city. See you soon. And, until then, remember, if it sounds and looks just like something you really, really want to be true, it is.”
A Secret Message To Believers In Q Anon
“Q” is really “R”. Deal with that, Q Anon-ers! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!! (BTW, if anyone from the Deep State or the Illuminati is reading this, please give me a jingle. I VERY much want to join your organization and help you wreak havoc on the world. I’ve been trying to drop off my resume with you, but, damn, you all are extremely difficult to find.)
10 Rules To Live By
Here are ten golden rules to live by. These are serious rules. They’re not funny or satirical in any way. They are NOT an example of Poe’s Law. They MIGHT be sponsored and practiced by the Illuminati, the Deep State, and QAnon. If you don’t believe all I’ve written here, you’re wrong and need to slam your head into a wall until you WAKE UP AND LEARN TO DEAL WITH REALITY!!!!! OK, here are the rules.
1.) Whatever you think to be true, is.
2.) If anyone questions your beliefs, they’re wrong.
3.) If you agree with someone famous, that person is right and can not be wrong.
4.) Proof of an invisible supernatural world rests in the fact that science doesn’t have EVERY answer to EVERY question and never did.
5.) Your world view is the RIGHT world view. Thus, those not holding said view are fair game to be called names and mocked.
6.) The deeper your belief in something, the more truthful it is.
7.) People who behave differently than what you deem to be normal are weird.
8.) If someone doesn’t meet your standard of what is beautiful, they’re not.
9.) Your opinion is equal to, or more important than, any other opinion –no matter what the opinion is, who states it or what it’s about.
10.) Politics based on identity are annoying, disgusting, and a HUGE sign of hyper-sensitivity and weakness–unless they’re about you and who YOU are as a person.