And Now, A Few Words From Trump Supporters A.K.A. Snowflakes

We are angry, angry snowflakes!  Our hero, Donald Trump, is made fun of on TV and by comedians every day, and we DO NOT LIKE IT!!!!  It isn’t FAIR!!!  WAAAAA!!  It isn’t RIGHT!!!!  WAAAA!!!  How DARE people make fun of Donald!!!  HE doesn’t do stuff like that to other people, does he?! !  WAAAA!!!!  Our feelings are hurt!!!!!  WAAAA!!! S TOP mocking Donald or we’ll keep crying about how nasty it is!!!!  WAAAAAA!!!!!!  We no like it!

 

I agree with my fellow snowflakes!!!  Do you have any idea how awful it is to go through your day while people mock Donald Trump, the world’s most emphatic President, ever?  Do you have ANY idea what that’s like?!  DO YOU???!! WAAAAA!!!  WAAAAA!!!  It’s making us melt!!!! We’re far too sensitive for this!  WAAAA!!! STOP IT!!!!  You mother mockers are bad, bad people!  What about OUR feelings, huh?  What about US!!!!  WAAAAAA!!!!! WAAAAA!!!! Please stop mocking Donald!!  We DO NOT like it!!! WAAAAA!!!!

 

As a snowflake who LITERALLY worships the ground Donald Trump walks on, all I can say to you people who speak poorly of this lovely man is this: WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!!  STOP IT!!!  You’re hurting our feelings!!!  The sensitive membranes of our eardrums can’t stand it any more!!!  STOP MOCKING DONALD!!! please?  ok?  i asked nice.   WAAAAAA!!!

 

Look, I’m not gonna cry about how deeply my feelings are offended by the nasty, non-pussy grabbing no-good-nicks out there who find it necessary to say bad things about Donald Trump and the snowflakes, like me, who adore him.  You’re making us feel bad.  So…no! NO!! NO!!  I promised I wouldn’t cry, and by the power of Russia, I won’t! No!! sniff….. NO!!  sniff, sniff…. No!!!  I refuse!  sniff…..WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!!! WAAAAA!!!!  Oh, fuck it!  I’ve gotta cry.  I can’t help it!  WAAAA!!  My feelings are hurt just TOO much. WAAAAA!!!  WAAAAA!!!  Please stop mocking Donald! PLEASE!!!  I’m BEGGING you!!!!   WAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!!!

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Stormy Daniels Releases Sketch Of Man Who Threatened Her

Naked City, North Carolina.   X-rated film star, Stormy Daniels released a police sketch today of a man she claims threatened her to keep quiet about an affair she had several years ago with Donald Trump.  “It was terrifying,” Ms. Daniels said earlier.  “The man walked up to my car, as I and my infant child were getting in it, and released a blood-curdling yell while gazing up at the moon.  He must have been well over seven feet tall, and his body was covered with thick, matted hair.  He looked down at me and leaned in very close to my face.  His breath was rancid, and a foul, putrid smell radiated from him.

Police Sketch Of Man Stormy Daniels Says Threatened Her To Keep Quiet About Donald Trump

‘You keep mouth shut ’bout sex with Mr. Trump,’ he told me.  ‘If you no stay quiet, me come back, and me do awful, awful things to you and your baby!  Me serious!  OK?’  I told him, ‘OK’, and he ran off at a speed which must have been close to 30 miles an hour.  Let me tell you, that is NOT the kind of thing one forgets.   So I’m very confident that the sketch we released today is about as close to 100% accurate as you can get.  If anyone sees or knows who this man is, I ask you to please call my lawyer and tell him.  If it pans out that you are correct, and it is indeed the man we’re looking for, you will be given 100 thousand dollars.”

Identity Politics And The White Christian

WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAA!!!! We white Christian people are discriminated against! WAAAAAA!!! We don’t like it!!!! WAAAAAA!!! Gays can hold hands in public and get married!!! WAAAAA!!!! Mexicans live next door to us!!! WAAAAAA!!!! We don’t like it!!!! What about OUR rights? WAAAAA!!!

The loudest, most annoying example of “identity politics” in today’s America, to me, is perpetrated by white Christians screaming about their “rights”. “Oh, we are SO mistreated! We have to live a world where gays can openly get married and, now get this, HOLD HANDS IN PUBLIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR WHITE KIDS!  What kind of world is this?  Christ, Mexicans are coming across the border in caravans and raping us and eating our babies by the MILLIONS!  What kind of world is this?!  We are abused, mistreated, maligned, and SO disadvantaged politically that, hell, for EIGHT YEARS, we had to endure, AND LOOK AT, a BLACK President!!!!  What kind of world is this?!  NEVER in the history of life on Earth has any group of people been more stepped on than white Christians are in today’s America.  WE deserve this country to be run the way WE want it to be.

America was founded by, and for, white Christians on, or about, 1950 by Jesus Christ, a FINE example of a white man if EVER there was one, I must say, and six, non-Jewish, white guys, over sixty years of age, who were rich as f**k.  There were NO people living in America until white people came here, killed off the dinosaurs that roamed the land, and built tax exempt Christian churches every 2 blocks all across the country.  Since all of this is undeniably true, why, oh, why do we poor, maligned Christian whites have to listen to, look at, and tolerate ANYONE who is not just like us?!  WHY????  We may seem, on the surface, like little whining, spineless snowflakes when we cry, bitch, and moan about how deeply our tender feelings are hurt because gays exist and Mexicans live across the street from us, but Jesus demands we do these things in his name.  It’s the way he wants things to be.  He’s right there with us, edging us on to fight for our right to be white, right, and Christian, helping us make our politics and our points of view the ONLY ones that should be heard and tolerated in America.

Oh, how we SUFFER!  Oh, how we hurt!  Oh, when, oh, when will we EVER get OUR chance to rule and lead in this country the way that hand-holding gays and Mexicans have for centuries?!  Until such a time comes, we will continue to whine, cry, bitch, moan, and be the biggest snowflakes we can be in order to defend our identity as whining, snowflake, white Christians who, like toddlers demanding every meal be made of candy, want everything around us to go our way and ONLY our way simply because that’s how WE want it to be.  May the blue-eyed whiteness of the all-tolerant, all-loving, Jesus Christ bless us all and help us make America become all white, all Christian and as free of gays and Mexicans as is humanly possible.  Amen.”

*My thanks to Scottie for inspiring this post.

Happy Easter From Ms. April Fools

Ms. April Fools says, “Oh, shit! I just realized, after 27 years of religious indoctrination, that people don’t come back from the dead, and there’s a decent probability this ‘Jesus’ character never even lived at all!  Welp, at least now I can get on with my life one day at a time and try to do the best the I can for the here and now and the future without having to worry about burning forever in Hell cause I ain’t kissin’ God’s arse in the right way!  And if THAT ain’t a reason to say, ‘Happy Easter’, I don’t know what is!