Cleveland, Ohio. President Donald Trump today launched a thermonuclear missile at London, England in honor of the Fourth of July. “Fuck England,” Trump said. “They repressed ‘Murica back in the day, and they’ve never apologized for it! I nuked London in honor of our great country, and to send a message to those a-holes in Britain who refuse to speak ‘Murican correctly. The Fourth of July is a holiday where big explosions signify the greatness of ‘Murica. Well, the nuking of London was one fucking big explosion, and it was GREAT! God bless ‘Murica, and God bless freedom!”
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