10 Quotes From Albert, The Alt-Right Internet Troll

Albert, The Alt-Right Internet Troll

1.)  A new study shows that one in three liberals are just as stupid as the other two.

2.) Only a f$$kin’ cuck would say Trump isn’t awesome.  So if you don’t like Trump, you’re a cuck.  (Now could someone please explain to me what a “cuck” is?)

3.) Obama is a shape-shifting lizard alien who’s come here to team up with Hitlerly Clinton to destroy ‘Merica!  He’s a cuck, too, and she had email issues.  The crook.

4.) F$$ckin’ snowflake, cuck, liberal, mother f$$kers are a f$$kin’ plague and should all be killed with big guns so ‘Merica can be safe again for Jesus-lovin’ Christians like me.  I’m SICK of being persecuted by cucks!

5.) SJW’s are attacking true ‘Mericans like me every second of every day.  They hound us; they call us mean names, and they refuse to let us express our opinions openly.  They’re all a bunch of cucks, fags, snowflakes, and c$nts.  Oh, and they suck.

6.) Trump has already made ‘Merica great again by giving everyone good health care and by making the coal industry boom again.  I know this isn’t fake news because Trump said it’s true.

7.) Mexicans are all rapists and here illegally.  They also have brown skin.  Real ‘Mericans are white.  This is a fact.  Deal with it you f$$kin’, cuck, liberal, snow-flake, hate-filled, mother-f$$ckin’ liberals.

8.) Obama is planning to take over ‘Merica with an army of wire-tapping, liberals, sissies, women and fags.   There is SO much evidence for this that it’s sickening.  The liberal, Jewish media is covering this up.   I f$$kin’ HATE the liberal, Jewish media.  They’re SO rude and insulting to decent people like me.

9.) You know what’s scary?  Right now trillions of ISIS members are pouring into ‘Merica cause some stupid, f$$kin’ judge blocked Trump’s Muslim ban.  Millions of innocent children are killed every f$$kin’ day ’cause of this.  Millions.  Most of the children in Ohio were killed last night by Muslim terrorists.  And has the liberal media reported on this?  No.  You all must get your real news from people like me, anonymous, right-wing, internet trolls.  What the f$$k does that tell you ’bout that state of ‘Merica?

10.) F$$k!  My moms comin’.  I gotta go or my ass is grass.  I was grounded from using the internet indefinitely last week for lookin’ at online porn.   F$$k off now, you snowflake, cuck, liberal faggots!

 

 

Ask The Batman

Hi Batman. My name is Ronald Rodslimp Wrinkleberry. I’m 24 years old, and I’ve a question for you. For some reason, girls don’t seem to take a hankerin’ to me. I try very hard to get them to notice me, but they act as if I’m not even there. I’m thinking of becoming a crime-fighting vigilante, like you, in order to make myself more attractive and noticeable to girls. Can you please give me some tips on how to do this, as I really have no idea where to begin. Thanks.

 

Thanks for your question, Ronald. Unfortunately, because of multiple lawsuits I’m currently involved in, I can’t answer your question.  But, I can say this.  Give up on trying so hard to get girls to be interested in you.  I’m a dark, disturbed, bad-ass of a billionaire who gets babes to fall all over him like drops of rain on a Spring morning.  You’re nothing like me, and no amount of crime-fighting advice is gonna change that.  So, just be yourself; enjoy your comics and your video games, and stop pestering girls.  They really don’t like it.  OK?    Sincerely, The Batman

Things I’ve Decided To Never Again Do Naked

Artist’s Rendering Of Me Practicing Ballet, Circa 1995

1.) Ask a woman out on a date for the first time.

2.) Walk into a gas station to ask for directions.

3.) Juggle 5 cats at the same time.

4.) Go into a biker bar and yell out,” You’re all a bunch of sissies!”

5.) Deliver pizza to a 5 year old’s birthday party.

6.) Work as a CNA in a nursing home for Alzheimer’s patients.

7.) Tell the cop who just pulled me over, “Look, I don’t have my license on me cause I’m not wearing any clothes!”

8.) Ride a horse through the city in a snow storm.

9.) Sunbathe next to a convent filled with horny nuns.

10.) Jump on a trampoline in school yard full of children.

On International Women’s Day, Trump Angry There Were No Pussies To Grab

“The International Women’s Day Was Bigly Wrong Because It Interfered In My Personal Right To Grab Pussy As I Pleased. There Were No Pussies Around Me To Grab Today, And That, That, Is Un-American!”  Donald Trump, March 8th, 2017

Trump Institutes New National Anthem

Ivan Drago From Rocky 4 Says, ” Ivan Loves Trump’s New American Anthem!”

New Moscow, New York.    Donald Trump today, claiming it had NOTHING to do with Russia, signed an executive order declaring this song to be the new American National anthem: Russia National anthem Russian & English lyrics – YouTube

George Washington Quote Of The Day

“I dream of a day when American Presidents can simply make shit up, blabber it out, and have millions of devout followers believe all they say. It is for this reason the Revolutionary War was fought. It is for this reason I find this miserable life, where hot showers do not yet exist, livable. And it is for this reason Martha thinks I’m bat-shit crazy and will no longer sleep with me.” From George Washington’s inaugural address. 1789