01.27.21
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Massive Caravans Of Scotsmen Invading America Since Biden’s Inauguration

Violent, Angry, Armed Scottish Immigrants Began Storming Into The U.S. On January 20th, 2021

U.S./Scottish Border, Texas.   Well, it looks like former President Donald Trump and his Republican allies were right about caravans of illegal immigrants charging into America if Biden were to become President.  Since President Biden’s inauguration on January 20th more than twenty thousand wild, feral, armed Scotsmen have charged across the U.S./Scotland border in southern Texas into America.  “These are horrible, disease-carrying, armed rapists with funny accents who ate my entire herd of cattle raw,” said one Texas cow-herder who prefers to rename nameless.  “I also strongly believe these people to be homosexuals because..well..because most of ’em are men and they’re wearin’ dresses,” the man said.   When asked to comment on the situation, President Biden had only this to say: “What, do you have something against a good plate of haggis?  Don’t you like bagpipe music?  Hell, let the Scots come!   This is America!  Everyone’s welcome here!  Even guys who talk funny and wear dresses instead of pants!”  Stay tuned to this blog for further developments on this ongoing situation.

12.24.20
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And Unto Mankind A Savior Is Born

Merry Christmas to the millions of readers of this blog from Our Lord ‘n Savior, Baby Jesus. May the love, empathy, kindness, and beauty of this wonderful infant watch over you and yours on this, the very eve of His most blessed birth.

12.01.20
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Biden Breaks Foot Kicking Trump In Diaper-Covered Ass

“I kicked him in his big, fat, orange, poop-filled, diapered-ass and broke my god damn foot! Jesus, but does that guy lay a solid friggin’ load! OUCH!!”

OAN City, California.   President-elect Joe Biden today revealed he’d broken his foot while kicking current President Trump’s ass in the November 3rd election.  “Man, it felt GREAT to kick that guy’s ass, but, god damn, he musta laid a huge, solid load in his poopy diaper when I did it cause I broke my god damn foot on it!”   Soon to be ex-President Trump could not be reached for comment on this issue.  It’s believed he’d pooped his diaper again when we asked to speak to him and was being cleaned and changed when we called.

11.24.20
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Biden Angrily Calls For A Recount Of Votes In North Carolina And Claims He’s Won Every State In The Union

“Trump did NOT win North Carolina,” shouts President-elect, Joe Biden. “I did!!! Recount the votes there NOW!!!!  I won EVERY fucking state in this country!!  RECOUNT THEM ALL!!!!!  Anyone who thinks I didn’t win them ALL is a blind fool!!! This election was RIGGED!! It was filled with FRAUD!!! FRAUD, I tell you, FRAUD!!!  I WON EVERY STATE!!!! Trump and Putin have RIGGED the 2020 election to make it look close and THAT is FRAUD!!! Lock Trump and his family up, NOW!!! HEY, AG Bill Barr, LOCK Trump up!!! He’s a liar, a criminal, and a traitor who rigged the 2020 election against me!!! Lock ’em up!! AAAAAHHH!! I’m SOOO MAD!!! WAAAAA!!! WAAAAA!!!  WAAAAA!!”

11.24.20
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Photo Taken Of Mitch McConnell Just After Licking Trump’s Anus For The 940th Time

“My God,” shouts Mitch McConnell, after licking Trump’s anus for the 940th time, “that’s THE most delicious thing I’ve EVER tasted! Gimme excess of it!”

11.24.20
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Joe Biden Resurrects Hugo Chavez Places Him In Charge Of CIA

“I want to thank President-elect Joe Biden for resurrecting me from the dead to put me in charge of the CIA,” Hugo Chavez said earlier today.

OAN City, Utah.  President-elect Joe Biden today used some of the evil powers he’s gained over the years from worshiping Satan to return Hugo Chavez from the dead in order to place him in charge of the CIA.   “Yeah, I figured, what the fuck,” Biden said earlier,” why not use some of the evil powers I have as a Satan worshiper and a Democrat to return Mr. Chavez from the dead in order to have him do my bidding in the CIA.  Hugo is SOOOOO glad to be alive again, I’m certain he will do whatever evil thing I and my fellow leftist Democrats instruct him to do.  So, LOOK OUT, former President Trump and Trump supporters!  I, and Hugo Chavez, are comin’ for ya!  Hahahahahahahahaha!!!”