Jupiter Not Only Has Water And Beaches, It Has Naked White People Like These Living On It
Genital City, Rome. The Juno probe today sent back pictures from the surface of Jupiter that are sure to aggravate Christians, Muslims, and GOP members everywhere. Apparently Jupiter, which was thought of as a planet inhospitable to human life and consisting primarily of gas, has colonies of naked white people living on it on what appears to be really nice beaches. “This is quite the surprise,” Nigel Stiffy, NASA spokesman, said this morning. “We here at NASA almost blew our loads when Juno sent us back images of naked white people frolicking on the beaches of Jupiter. These naked white people all seem to have rock hard abs, amazingly muscular buttocks, and fantastically developed genitalia. I’m going home now to study these images more closely in the privacy of my bedroom. When my investigation has reached its climax, I’ll report on my findings. This is truly a monumental moment in the history of mankind. We’ve proven human life exists on worlds other than our own, and that it is white and naked. This is utterly astounding and, if I must say so myself, quite friggin’ sexy.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
“When my investigation has reached its climax…” 😀
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Nice to see you back. Hope things have settled for you a bit.
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Thanks, it’s slowly but surely settling. I’ve only scratched the surface when it comes to catching up with you guys though, I’ll be back to read more soon enough 🙂
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$Amen$
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Reblogged this on brendongormley.
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Thanks so much for the re-blogs. Much appreciated.
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After two dead for being black, and the 5 dead cops in Dallas, I needed a momentary distraction and a laugh. Thanks man!
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You betcha. 🙂
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See, Swedish Jesus is true!
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Yes. Yes he is.
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Should the FCC not have censored those pictures before sent to NASA?
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Naw, this is science, man! SCIENCE!
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I think it’s Jupiter’s atmosphere. Keeps one firm and toned…
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That and the intense gravity.
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Probably right. I could do with some zero gravity too!
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As could I.
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I love science!!!
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I know, right?
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Only one comment:
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Or this: Alien 3:
Sorry; I could find the hilarious bit….
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One of David Fincher’s first movies.
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Song goes great with naked folks.
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