Democrats Finally Grow Some Balls

It’s about fucking time.  We, progressives, liberals, Democrats, and all normal human beings, need to fight, resist, and obstruct Trump and his Putin-loving Republican cronies at every single turn.   They’re anti-American, traitorous dogs.  Fuck ’em all.

A Valentine To My Lover, Vladimir


Oh, my love!

How my heart does


Whenever I smell the

Sweet scent

Of your

Manly flesh


My love,

Complete me

Yours is the

Biglyest, kindlyest, huuggeesst


That ever has lived ever

You have my undying

Trust and



Thank you my

Russian lover

For making me into the



I’ve now become

I’m yours

Body, mind, and soul

Today, tomorrow, and


Love always,


What If Donald Trump Were A Monkey?


People, I gotta tell ya’, I just ate the BIGGEST banana ever!  I found it in the jungle where I live.  It was on the HUUGGEST banana tree EVER!  This whole jungle is HUUUGGGEE!!!  I mean, it’s the BESTLYEST jungle ever.  Period.  No jungle anywhere has EVER been THIS bigly.  Oh, I’m KING in this jungle, too.  The biglyest, greatestist KING there ever was ever!   The HUUUGGEESST crowd of jungle residents EVER came to witness my coronation the other day.  They love me.  All of them.  Every single solitary animal in this jungle LOVES me!   Get it?  You’d better, or I’ll refuse to EVER speak to any of you again.   Now, it’s time for you all to leave so I can use my “like a smart monkey” brain to plan the utter, greatestist, biglyest destruction of my enemies that EVER has been seen by anyone, ever, anywhere.

A Complaint From Aquaman


You know what really sucks?  When you buy a new superhero suit and they forget to tell you it will shrink if you get it wet.  I’m AQUAMAN!  I live under water.  Why in Neptune’s name would I want a suit that you can’t get wet?  If they don’t give me my money back, I’m gonna toss me a damned hissy-fit to end all hissy-fits!  Harrumph!

A Word From John The Baptist’s Head


What up, peeps?  John the Baptist’s severed head here.  Ya’ know, a lot of folks ask me, “John the Baptist’s severed head, what’s the most inconvenient thing about being a severed head?”  Well, there are many inconveniences to my current predicament, my inability to wank off due to the fact I’ve no hands and no penis being one.  But, the MOST inconvenient thing about all this is that every time I eat or drink something, it just comes pouring outta my neck a second after I swallow it.   This one time, I was on a date with this smokin’ hot Italian babe I met in Rome.   We were sittin’ in a restaurant,  enjoying a light, flirtatious conversation, when she says to me, “John’s severed head, you simply MUST taste this wonderful wine I’m having.”  She then proceeds to pour, like, a whole glassful of the stuff right down my gullet.   Needless to say, red wine shot outta my severed neck like water from a fire hose on steroids.  It got all over her and all over the table where we were sitting.  Yeah, that was the end of that date.  She drove me home and promised she’d text me later to set up another date, but I never heard from her again.  Can’t really say I blame her.   Now days I spend most of my time alone, watching TV and eating as little as is humanly possible.  Life’s just simpler this way, and far less messy.