
Merry Christmas to the millions of readers of this blog from Our Lord ‘n Savior, Baby Jesus. May the love, empathy, kindness, and beauty of this wonderful infant watch over you and yours on this, the very eve of His most blessed birth.
Merry Christmas to the millions of readers of this blog from Our Lord ‘n Savior, Baby Jesus. May the love, empathy, kindness, and beauty of this wonderful infant watch over you and yours on this, the very eve of His most blessed birth.
“My God,” shouts Mitch McConnell, after licking Trump’s anus for the 940th time, “that’s THE most delicious thing I’ve EVER tasted! Gimme excess of it!”
Phake News City, New Hampshire. In stunning and miraculous news today a photograph of the newly born Christ child was found in a bathroom in a Denny’s restaurant in Jerusalem by a tourist named Betty Grabmacrotch. “I was squatting over a disgustingly dirty toilet to pee,” Ms. Grabmacrotch said earlier today, “when I noticed an odd looking piece of paper sticking out of the toilet paper dispensary. When I pulled it out, I heard the sound of a thousand angels singing, and several toilets flushing, and, I swear this is true, the paper literally vibrated in my hand as I touched it. When I looked down at it, I immediately knew I was looking at a picture of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, on the day of his birth. I knew this was true because of how beautiful the child was in the picture and because I heard angels singing when I pulled it out of the dispensary. Yes, I know photography was not around at the time of Christ’s birth, but we are dealing here with JESUS and the laws of time and space have no bearing on him or on those who believe in him. Also, the child in this photo is so beautiful, so lovely, so radiant with love, empathy, joy, and peace, it can be of no one else but Jesus on the day of his birth. Just look at it and tell me it can be anything BUT that!” The photo below is the picture Ms. Grabmacrotch found in the bathroom. Look at it, and decide for yourself whether or not it is, indeed, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, on the day of his birth. $Amen$
WAAAA!!! WAAAA!!! Baby Jesus WON 2020 Election!!! WAAAA!!! WAAA!!! WAAAA!!
Here are some more pics I came by recently of famous and well-known people that I thought my readers might want to see. Enjoy.
1.)
Bernie Sanders, As A Young Man, circa 1867, About To Address A Group Of Young Progressives Fighting For The Right To Bring Their Emotional Support Horses Into Stores With Them When They Shop.
2.)
Moses, On A Trip To Chicago, circa 1989, Attempting To Part Lake Michigan In Order To Show Some Sexy Girls That He Is, Indeed, THE Moses From The Bible.
3.)
The Holy Trinity. From Left To Right: Yahweh, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit on Spring Break in Washington State, circa 267 AD.
4.)
Mitch McConnell’s Great Uncle, Sid ‘Viscous’ McConnell, circa 1923, Getting Ready To Shoot At Some Black Kids On His Lawn That He Claims Are ‘Liberal Monsters’ Coming To Take Away His Right To Practice Christianity In America! “You Monster Liberals Better Git! Or I’m Gonna Pump Yer Asses Fulla Some God-given’ Buck-Shot! Now, GIT!!”
5.)
Noah, After Stepping Off The Ark For The First Time In Months, Way Back In Old Testament Times. “You Animals Can Go F**k Yourselves! Next Time You Need Your Asses Saved From A Flood, Take Another Ship! You All Are Some Noisy, Stinky, Loud Mother F**kers! I Ain’t Slept In Months! Now Git Da F**k Off My Ark And Let Me Be!!!”
6.)
Old Republican Man, After Giving Himself Covid19, Saying, “I’ve given myself this virus to demonstrate to other old Republicans how easy it is to ‘take one on the chin’ for the Stock Market and the future of America. “Don’t die fer nuttin’, ya sum’bitches! Die fer the Stock Market and young Republicans everywhere like the President wants ya too!”
7.)
Yoda, On His First Visit To Earth, circa 1981, Addressing The UN: “Good, Your Food Is Here. Back To My Galaxy, McDonald’s Burgers, I Will Bring! Tasty, They Are!”
8.)
Donald Trump and Mike Pence saying, recently, “Nothin’ to worry about with Covid19, folks! Nope! It’s all blown out of proportion, and just a Democratic/liberal hoax! It’ll all be over by Easter! We swear it! (Cough! Cough! Cough!)”
9.)
St. Peter, circa 2004, On A Trip To New York, New York Saying, “These Buildings Are SOOO Tall! They Sure Didn’t Build ‘Em Like This Back In My Day! Do You All Store Grain In Them Like The Egyptians Did With The Pyramids?”
Here are some pics I came by recently of famous and well-known people that I thought my readers might want to see. Enjoy.
1.)
![]()
Bernie Sanders, As A Young Man, circa 1867, About To Address A Group Of Young Progressives Fighting For The Right To Bring Their Emotional Support Horses Into Stores With Them When They Shop.
2.)
![]()
Yoda, On His First Visit To Earth, circa 1981, Addressing The UN: “Good, Your Food Is Here. Back To My Galaxy, McDonald’s Burgers, I Will Bring! Tasty, They Are!”
3.)
![]()
Moses, On A Trip To Chicago, circa 1989, Attempting To Part Lake Michigan In Order To Show Some Sexy Girls That He Is, Indeed, THE Moses From The Bible.
4.)
![]()
The Holy Trinity. From Left To Right: Yahweh, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit on Spring Break in Washington State, circa 267 AD.
5.)
![]()
Old Republican Man, After Giving Himself Covid19, Saying, “I’ve given myself this virus to demonstrate to other old Republicans how easy it is to ‘take one on the chin’ for the Stock Market and the future of America. “Don’t die fer nuttin’, ya sum’bitches! Die fer the Stock Market and young Republicans everywhere like the President wants ya too!”
6.)
![]()
Donald Trump and Mike Pence saying, recently, “Nothin’ to worry about with Covid19, folks! Nope! It’s all blown out of proportion, and just a Democratic/liberal hoax! It’ll all be over by Easter! We swear it! (Cough! Cough! Cough!)”
7.)
![]()
St. Peter, circa 2004, On A Trip To New York, New York Saying, “These Buildings Are SOOO Tall! They Sure Didn’t Build ‘Em Like This Back In My Day! Do You All Store Grain In Them Like The Egyptians Did With The Pyramids?”
8.)
![]()
Noah, After Stepping Off The Ark For The First Time In Months, Way Back In Old Testament Times. “You Animals Can Go F**k Yourselves! Next Time You Need Your Asses Saved From A Flood, Take Another Ship! You All Are Some Noisy, Stinky, Loud Mother F**kers! I Ain’t Slept In Months! Now Git Da F**k Off My Ark And Let Me Be!!!”
9.)
![]()
Mitch McConnell’s Great Uncle, Sid ‘Viscous’ McConnell, circa 1923, Getting Ready To Shoot At Some Black Kids On His Lawn That He Claims Are ‘Liberal Monsters’ Coming To Take Away His Right To Practice Christianity In America! “You Monster Liberals Better Git! Or I’m Gonna Pump Yer Asses Fulla Some God-given’ Buck-Shot! Now, GIT!!”
Check out these vintage pics of people from the Bible that Moses dropped off at my office this morning. He says he found them in an old sock drawer yesterday and wanted to share them. Give ’em a look; I think you’ll like ’em.
Virgin Mary’s Facebook Picture, circa 1929
Baby Lucifer, Up Wind Of Baby Jesus
Joseph, Baby Jesus, And Mary In New York, circa 1927
Mary Magdalene: “Like What You See, Jesus?”
God’s First Wife, Rosalind, Teaching A Baby Angel Gabriel How To Blow His Horn
Baby Moses, In His Basket, Seconds After Being Found in The Nile.
Ms. April Fools says, “Oh, shit! I just realized, after 27 years of religious indoctrination, that people don’t come back from the dead, and there’s a decent probability this ‘Jesus’ character never even lived at all! Welp, at least now I can get on with my life one day at a time and try to do the best the I can for the here and now and the future without having to worry about burning forever in Hell cause I ain’t kissin’ God’s arse in the right way! And if THAT ain’t a reason to say, ‘Happy Easter’, I don’t know what is!
Mummyville, Egypt. Fabricated archeologist, and amateur photographer, Ivana Kissurmom, stopped by our Paris office today with these amazing pictures of famous bearded women from history. Enjoy.
1.) This picture of Eve shows us she wasn’t just the first woman ever, but the first bearded woman ever as well.
2.) Next we have the very bearded Helen of Troy. I just don’t see what all the fuss was about, do you?
3.) And now for the Virgin Mary. I don’t know about you, but she doesn’t look very virginal to me.
4.) This picture shows that George Washington had either terrible eyesight or very bad taste in women.
5.) And this one shows the same can be said of Jesus.
6.) Last for today we have Joan of Arc, pictured in the very tux she wore at her execution.
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