On International Women’s Day, Trump Angry There Were No Pussies To Grab

“The International Women’s Day Was Bigly Wrong Because It Interfered In My Personal Right To Grab Pussy As I Pleased. There Were No Pussies Around Me To Grab Today, And That, That, Is Un-American!”  Donald Trump, March 8th, 2017

Trump Institutes New National Anthem

Ivan Drago From Rocky 4 Says, ” Ivan Loves Trump’s New American Anthem!”

New Moscow, New York.    Donald Trump today, claiming it had NOTHING to do with Russia, signed an executive order declaring this song to be the new American National anthem: Russia National anthem Russian & English lyrics – YouTube

Trump To Build Mexican Wall With Legos

Just Try 'N Get Past THIS, You Mexican Hombres!

Just Try ‘N Get Past THIS, You Bad Hombres, You!

Toyland, North Pole.   President Trump today announced a new plan for his Mexican border wall.  “It’s a YUGE idea,” Trump said earlier.  “We’re gonna build the wall out of Legos and save a bigly amount of money by doing so.  Everyone loves Legos, even Mexicans and their President, Hombre Gracias what’s his face.  And since President Hombre and his drug cartel, rapist citizens love Legos, they’ll have no problem with paying for the wall and building it themselves.  Thus, we God-loving Americans will not have to spend a dime or shed a single drop of sweat in constructing this great, impenetrable wall that will keep America free of Mexicans for a YUGE amount of time.  See, I really, really am like a smart person, am I not?  Welp, time to spend 11 million dollars of the taxpayer’s money so I can take the weekend off and golf.  See you all on Monday afternoon.”

A Few Things Trump Has Recently Acquired

1.)

Paul Ryan's Spine

Paul Ryan’s Spine

 

2.)

Kellyanne Conway's Soul

Kellyanne Conway’s Soul

 

3.)

Sean Spicer's Underwear

Sean Spicer’s Underwear

 

4.)

A Glass Of Vladimir Putin's Semen

Glass Of Vladimir Putin’s Semen

 

5.)

Chris Christie's Balls

Chris Christie’s Balls

Trump Puts Pence In Charge Of Women’s Reproductive Organs

Let Me Feel Your Womb, Honey. It's My Job.

Let Me Feel Your Womb, Honey. It’s My Job.

Man Town, Ohio.  President Trump today signed a Presidential order placing Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the reproductive organs of every woman in America.  “Mikey’s a fuckin’ stud,” Trump said earlier.  “He knows his pussies from his boobies, and his hands are always warm and ready for action.  As well, he’s a loving Christian who understands the nature of female reproduction far more than any gynecologist ever could.  What better doctor for women could there be than a decrepit, white, Christian male who takes The Book Of Genesis literally?  I say none.  Therefor, from this day forward, if Mike Pence says women who’ve had abortions are the spawn of Satan and must die, they will die (Probably by being burned alive.  I’ve not yet made up my mind on it).   Also, any woman who does not send a picture of her vagina and uterus to Vice President Pence immediately for a close examination will be summarily put to death by stoning (I like stoning.  It’s both torture AND an execution method).   America can never be great again as long as women have control of their own sex organs.  So say I, President Donald J. Trump, Putin’s Orange Puppet.”

MRI Reveals Inner Workings Of Trump’s Skull

The following MRI of the inside of Trump’s skull is 100% real and comes to us via secret spies working inside the Trump Administration.   Enjoy.

I'm the best! Grab that pussy! Close those borders! Biggest crowd ever! Obama sucks! It's fake news not to love me! Putin's my master! I like pee! I hate EVERYTHING about America! Poor people are lazy! Rich people are great! I'm great! You're not! Fuck you! I'm bigly, no one else is! Fuck you! (Repeat)

I’m the best! Grab that pussy! Close those borders! Biggest crowd ever! Obama sucks! It’s fake news not to love me! Putin’s my master! I like pee! I hate EVERYTHING about America! Poor people are lazy! Rich people are great! I’m great! You’re not! Fuck you! I’m bigly, no one else is! Fuck you! (Repeat)

Democrats Finally Grow Some Balls

It’s about fucking time.  We, progressives, liberals, Democrats, and all normal human beings, need to fight, resist, and obstruct Trump and his Putin-loving Republican cronies at every single turn.   They’re anti-American, traitorous dogs.  Fuck ’em all.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/senate-democrats-face-a-key-test-tuesday-amid-promises-to-stand-up-to-trump/2017/01/31/1685487a-e7bd-11e6-b82f-687d6e6a3e7c_story.html