New Moscow, New York. Donald Trump today, claiming it had NOTHING to do with Russia, signed an executive order declaring this song to be the new American National anthem: Russia National anthem Russian & English lyrics – YouTube
Toyland, North Pole. President Trump today announced a new plan for his Mexican border wall. “It’s a YUGE idea,” Trump said earlier. “We’re gonna build the wall out of Legos and save a bigly amount of money by doing so. Everyone loves Legos, even Mexicans and their President, Hombre Gracias what’s his face. And since President Hombre and his drug cartel, rapist citizens love Legos, they’ll have no problem with paying for the wall and building it themselves. Thus, we God-loving Americans will not have to spend a dime or shed a single drop of sweat in constructing this great, impenetrable wall that will keep America free of Mexicans for a YUGE amount of time. See, I really, really am like a smart person, am I not? Welp, time to spend 11 million dollars of the taxpayer’s money so I can take the weekend off and golf. See you all on Monday afternoon.”
Man Town, Ohio. President Trump today signed a Presidential order placing Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the reproductive organs of every woman in America. “Mikey’s a fuckin’ stud,” Trump said earlier. “He knows his pussies from his boobies, and his hands are always warm and ready for action. As well, he’s a loving Christian who understands the nature of female reproduction far more than any gynecologist ever could. What better doctor for women could there be than a decrepit, white, Christian male who takes The Book Of Genesis literally? I say none. Therefor, from this day forward, if Mike Pence says women who’ve had abortions are the spawn of Satan and must die, they will die (Probably by being burned alive. I’ve not yet made up my mind on it). Also, any woman who does not send a picture of her vagina and uterus to Vice President Pence immediately for a close examination will be summarily put to death by stoning (I like stoning. It’s both torture AND an execution method). America can never be great again as long as women have control of their own sex organs. So say I, President Donald J. Trump, Putin’s Orange Puppet.”
The following MRI of the inside of Trump’s skull is 100% real and comes to us via secret spies working inside the Trump Administration. Enjoy.
It’s about fucking time. We, progressives, liberals, Democrats, and all normal human beings, need to fight, resist, and obstruct Trump and his Putin-loving Republican cronies at every single turn. They’re anti-American, traitorous dogs. Fuck ’em all.