Giggleville, South Dakota. Rev. Jimmy Boydiddler, spokes-priest for all Christians everywhere, announced today that Jesus Christ has lost his job as Lord ‘n Savior of Christendom in favor of the much younger and far sexier Savior, Donald J. Trump. ”Trump is just more present in today’s world,” said Boydiddler, “than Christ has ever been. Trump’s kindness, empathy, and ability to bring together people of wildly different ideologies is a true inspiration for how all Christians should behave at all times. Additionally, His righteous rage and anger at the woke, evil, socialist, liberal left is a beacon on how all Conservatives should act towards these Satan-worshiping, child-eating space aliens,” Boydiddler continued. ”Let’s face it, the woke left are simply too dumb and stupid to be considered anything other than useless non-human vermin that need to be obliterated from the face of the earth in order to purify it for decent, human Conservatives everywhere. Therefor, all who once followed Christ, must now replace him in their hearts and prayers with the One, True Savior of all decent human beings, Our New Lord And Savior, Donald J. Trump.”