Famous Bearded Women In History

Mummyville, Egypt.  Fabricated archeologist, and amateur photographer, Ivana Kissurmom, stopped by our Paris office today with these amazing pictures of famous bearded women from history. Enjoy.

1.) This picture of Eve shows us she wasn’t just the first woman ever, but the first bearded woman ever as well.

Looks Like God Took A Bit Of Chest Hair Along With The Rib He Took From Adam When He Made Eve

Apparently God Took A Bit Of Chest Hair Along With Adam’s Rib When He Made Eve, Eh?

2.) Next we have the very bearded Helen of Troy. I just don’t see what all the fuss was about, do you?

 THIS Is The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships?

THIS Is The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships?

3.) And now for the Virgin Mary. I don’t know about you, but she doesn’t look very virginal to me.

Ya Gotta Admit, The Flowers Are Kinda Sexy

The Flowers Are Kinda Nice, Don’t Ya Think?

4.) This picture shows that George Washington had either terrible eyesight or very bad taste in women.

Apparently, George Had Pretty Bad Eye Site

Martha Washington

5.) And this one shows the same can be said of Jesus.

 Jesus' Eye Site Was None Too Good Either

Mary Magdalene

6.) Last for today we have Joan of Arc, pictured in the very tux she wore at her execution.

Joan Of Arc In The Tux She Wore To Her Execution

Lookin’ Pretty Spiffy For A Woman About To Be Burned Alive, Eh?


33 thoughts on “Famous Bearded Women In History

  1. Hmm.

    A terrible inhairtance!
    The face that sank a thousand ships.
    Did Yahweh grab her by the beard when he took her–and did Joseph watch?
    Is that brown tint under Mary Washington’s mouth, tree sap or pole oil?
    What can I say, lice is a turnon for gods.
    The main attraction at a weenie roast.


  2. I love them. all of them. Thanks for helping me make my mind up. Ron has been wanting me to grow my beard back. Now after reading this I am going to. I am just not sure what type of beard to do this time???sad. Any Ideas? Hugs


  3. Where do you get that stuff from? Your mind makes mind boggle 😉


  4. HAhahah! I can’t stop laughing after reading this. You are so funny


    • Thanks, my friend. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend.


    • I am having a fabulous weekend.
      Where do you get these photos?


    • I scour the internet and find them.


    • I love them and the work you put into it.
      How is your weekend buddy?


    • It’s going pretty well. Reading Ehrman’s book on Jeebus. He’s a good writer, but isn’t convincing me such a dude as “Preacher” Jeebus HAD to have been real. His research into the history of the NT and the various types of “Christianity” that have existed in the last 2000 years is fascinating and worth the read.


    • I am reading supernatural religion :an inquiry into the reality of divine revelation. The thesis is that if miracles which are the foundation of which Christian belief is founded can be shown to not have happened, it can be directly inferred that christianity is false


    • I like that thesis.


    • He writes if the reality of miracles cannot be established, christianity loses the only evidence by which its truth can be sufficiently attested. If miracles be incredible the supernatural revelation and its miraculous evidence must be together rejected.
      Don’t you just like that. And imagine this was written in 1875! How were we not exposed to such material is an offence beyond measure


    • I agree. Here, in our American schools, we’re not exposed to the true writings and thoughts of men like Jefferson and Franklin, men who truly believed religion and government did not belong together. These men founded my country on these principles, but their true thoughts on them have been buried in the mire of christian bullshit by self-aggrandizing American conservatives. It’s sickening. I feel as if I’ve only learned the true history of things like christianity and America through my own study and curious nature into finding out the truth about things. Needless to say, they’re aren’t enough here who are as motivated as I am to do this. Thus, we get Presidents like George Bush, twice.


    • We all get a bad education


    • Well, a lot of us do. There are some very decent, open-minded schools here for kids K thru 12, but, ya gotta be smokin’ rich to send your kids to ’em. If all children had such an education, the playing field would be a tad fairer, and idiocy rates a tad lower. Having had a Catholic education, I must say, I consider myself lucky, as we were always encouraged to think. I used that skill to both survive a harse life, and realize religion is full of shit. Kinda back-fired on them there, but, oh, well.


    • Indeed, I think whoever said my people die for lack of knowledge was on to something


    • Many die never having had the slightest chance to ever obtain knowledge and learning the freedom that comes with it.


    • They are always praying for the souls of those they think are lost. Sad indeed


  5. lol! I have pictures of myself from the 70s that look an awful lot like Eve! More muscular, of course.


  6. What about my mother in law! She is hirsute as I don’t know what


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