Tag Archives: famous historical figures

03.29.20
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More Photos Of Famous People From The Bible And Other Places

Here are some more pics I came by recently of famous and well-known people that I thought my readers might want to see.  Enjoy.

 

1.)

Bernie Sanders, As A Young Man, circa 1867, About To Address A Group Of Young Progressives Fighting For The Right To Bring Their Emotional Support Horses Into Stores With Them When They Shop.

2.)

Moses, On A Trip To Chicago, circa 1989, Attempting To Part Lake Michigan In Order To Show Some Sexy Girls That He Is, Indeed, THE Moses From The Bible.

3.)

The Holy Trinity.  From Left To Right: Yahweh, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit on Spring Break in Washington State, circa 267 AD.

4.)

Mitch McConnell’s Great Uncle, Sid ‘Viscous’ McConnell, circa 1923, Getting Ready To Shoot At Some Black Kids On His Lawn That He Claims Are ‘Liberal Monsters’ Coming To Take Away His Right To Practice Christianity In America!  “You Monster Liberals Better Git!  Or I’m Gonna Pump Yer Asses Fulla Some God-given’ Buck-Shot!  Now, GIT!!”

5.)

Noah, After Stepping Off The Ark For The First Time In Months, Way Back In Old Testament Times. “You Animals Can Go F**k Yourselves! Next Time You Need Your Asses Saved From A Flood, Take Another Ship!  You All Are Some Noisy, Stinky, Loud Mother F**kers! I Ain’t Slept In Months! Now Git Da F**k Off My Ark And Let Me Be!!!”

6.)

Old Republican Man, After Giving Himself Covid19, Saying, “I’ve given myself this virus to demonstrate to other old Republicans how easy it is to ‘take one on the chin’ for the Stock Market and the future of America. “Don’t die fer nuttin’, ya sum’bitches!  Die fer the Stock Market and young Republicans everywhere like the President wants ya too!”

7.)

Yoda, On His First Visit To Earth, circa 1981, Addressing The UN: “Good, Your Food Is Here.  Back To My Galaxy, McDonald’s Burgers, I Will Bring!  Tasty, They Are!”

8.)

Donald Trump and Mike Pence saying, recently, “Nothin’ to worry about with Covid19, folks! Nope! It’s all blown out of proportion, and just a Democratic/liberal hoax! It’ll all be over by Easter! We swear it! (Cough! Cough! Cough!)”

9.)

St. Peter, circa 2004, On A Trip To New York, New York Saying, “These Buildings Are SOOO Tall! They Sure Didn’t Build ‘Em Like This Back In My Day!  Do You All Store Grain In Them Like The Egyptians Did With The Pyramids?”

03.16.20
by

Photos Of Famous People From The Bible And Other Places

Here are some pics I came by recently of famous and well-known people that I thought my readers might want to see.  Enjoy.

1.)

Bernie Sanders, As A Young Man, circa 1867, About To Address A Group Of Young Progressives Fighting For The Right To Bring Their Emotional Support Horses Into Stores With Them When They Shop.

2.)

Yoda, On His First Visit To Earth, circa 1981, Addressing The UN: “Good, Your Food Is Here.  Back To My Galaxy, McDonald’s Burgers, I Will Bring!  Tasty, They Are!”

3.)

Moses, On A Trip To Chicago, circa 1989, Attempting To Part Lake Michigan In Order To Show Some Sexy Girls That He Is, Indeed, THE Moses From The Bible.

4.)

The Holy Trinity.  From Left To Right: Yahweh, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit on Spring Break in Washington State, circa 267 AD.

5.)

Old Republican Man, After Giving Himself Covid19, Saying, “I’ve given myself this virus to demonstrate to other old Republicans how easy it is to ‘take one on the chin’ for the Stock Market and the future of America. “Don’t die fer nuttin’, ya sum’bitches!  Die fer the Stock Market and young Republicans everywhere like the President wants ya too!”

6.)

Donald Trump and Mike Pence saying, recently, “Nothin’ to worry about with Covid19, folks! Nope! It’s all blown out of proportion, and just a Democratic/liberal hoax! It’ll all be over by Easter! We swear it! (Cough! Cough! Cough!)”

7.)

St. Peter, circa 2004, On A Trip To New York, New York Saying, “These Buildings Are SOOO Tall! They Sure Didn’t Build ‘Em Like This Back In My Day!  Do You All Store Grain In Them Like The Egyptians Did With The Pyramids?”

8.)

Noah, After Stepping Off The Ark For The First Time In Months, Way Back In Old Testament Times. “You Animals Can Go F**k Yourselves! Next Time You Need Your Asses Saved From A Flood, Take Another Ship!  You All Are Some Noisy, Stinky, Loud Mother F**kers! I Ain’t Slept In Months! Now Git Da F**k Off My Ark And Let Me Be!!!”

9.)

Mitch McConnell’s Great Uncle, Sid ‘Viscous’ McConnell, circa 1923, Getting Ready To Shoot At Some Black Kids On His Lawn That He Claims Are ‘Liberal Monsters’ Coming To Take Away His Right To Practice Christianity In America!  “You Monster Liberals Better Git!  Or I’m Gonna Pump Yer Asses Fulla Some God-given’ Buck-Shot!  Now, GIT!!”

The Arm Chair Pontificator

Check out these vintage pics of people from the Bible that Moses dropped off at my office this morning.  He says he found them in an old sock drawer yesterday and wanted to share them. Give ’em a look; I think you’ll like ’em.

Virgin Mary's Facebook Picture, circa 1929 Virgin Mary’s Facebook Picture, circa 1929

Baby Lucifer Down Wind Of Baby Jesus Baby Lucifer, Up Wind Of Baby Jesus

Joseph, Baby Jesus, And Mary In New York, circa 1927 Joseph, Baby Jesus, And Mary In New York, circa 1927

Mary Madelene: "Like What You See, Jesus?" Mary Magdalene: “Like What You See, Jesus?”

God's First Wife, Rosalind, Teaching Baby Angel Gabriel How To Blow His Horn God’s First Wife, Rosalind, Teaching A Baby Angel Gabriel How To Blow His Horn

Baby Moses In His Basket Seconds After Being Found. Baby Moses, In His Basket, Seconds After Being Found in The Nile.

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04.18.14
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Famous Historical Cock Suckers

Vacuum Lips City, California.  We’ve all done it. You know, called someone a cock sucker regardless of whether or not we knew they actually were one. Well, I’ve discovered, through intensive meditation and shameless alcohol consumption, that humans have been referring to one another as cock suckers for thousands of years now. It is an inarguable fact, to those who chose to believe it is, that many famous and infamous people, all throughout history, were regularly referred to as cock suckers by those closest to them. A few are listed below for your intellectual perusal.

Who Doesn't Know This Gesture?

Who Doesn’t Know This Gesture?

Famous Historical Cock Suckers

1.) Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh, Ramses the Second.   Ramses was first called a cock sucker while in High School by his Junior year French teacher, a smokin’ hot Hebrew babe named, Sasha Vaginastein. The two were rumored to be lovers and Ms. Vaginastein almost exclusively referred to Ramses as her “little cock sucker” when speaking about him. “My little cock sucker’s gonna be Pharaoh one day, so don’t fuck with me,” she’d often say to those who had offended her in some way. Ironically, Ms. Vaginastein was caught sucking the cock of a palace guard shortly after Ramses became Pharaoh. He had her buried alive with the guard’s severed cock sewn into her mouth. Ouch.

Little Cock Sucker

Little Cock Sucker

2.) Judas Iscariot.   There’s not much to say about Judas, other than the fact he is the first scientifically confirmed person in history exclusively referred to as a cock sucker in a derogatory fashion. “That cock sucker always over cooks my matzo balls,” Peter was once heard saying in reference to him. As well, Luke’s voice could often be heard bellowing out commands to him like these: “Clean my feet, cock sucker,” and, “Suck my cock, cock sucker.” Biblical scholars have recently confirmed this was the reason Judas betrayed Jesus. Can’t really say I blame the cock sucker, though. Can you?

Now We Know Why

Now We Know Why

3.) Anne Boleyn.  “You’ll really like Anne, she’s a cock sucker.” These were the words Anne’s own father used when he first described her to Henry the 8th. “I LOVE cock suckers,” was Henry’s reply, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Anne's Talent Couldn't Save Her From This

Anne’s Talent Couldn’t Save Her From This