Bill Maher Says Everyone Should Read T.A.C.P.
Comedian and talk show host, Bill Maher said today that T.A.C.P. is the most brilliantly written and meticulously researched source of pertinent, meaningful information he has ever had the privilege of reading. “I’ve read many excellent books and articles on things like science, religion, and superheroes in my time, but none compare to the exhaustively researched, painstakingly balanced essays here on T.A.C.P.,” Maher said. “Some of the essays I’ve read here are written with such clarity and depth of understanding for human nature, they caused me to drop to my knees while reading them and weep like a baby. The post where Jesus gives his solution to the problem of pedophile rapist priests is so evenly balanced in its writing style that I not only wept while reading it, I wet myself. The posts on Thor are also outstanding. They’re written with such respect and love for this thickly muscled man/god, you feel compelled to find him and suck him off each time you read one.
Fuck You, Nobel Committee, For Not Yet Awarding A Prize To T.A.C.P.
How the Nobel Prize committee can be so blatantly ignorant as to have not yet given a Nobel for overall brilliance to this blog’s writer is a travesty of justice I pledge my life to see corrected. I will see “inspiredbythedivine1″ get his due, or I’ll die trying! This I swear!”
Attention all Catholics and Lutherans! The battle you’ve all been dreaming about for almost 500 years will finally take place this Friday, Valentines Day, in a 6′ by 6′ locked steel cage, in a CVS parking lot in Gary, Indiana. It will be televised live on HBO and is a MUST see for all MMA and “snuff” film fans. Lutheran Jesus, generally thought of as the “Resurrected” Jesus, symbolized by an empty cross, will fight Catholic Jesus, generally thought of as the “Suffering” Jesus, symbolized by a cross with Christ nailed to it, writhing in agony, waiting to die. The two Jesuses will fight to the death locked inside a 6′ by 6′ steel cage with hammers, axes, knives, chain saws, and 9″ nails to use as weapons to determine which of them is the TRUE Jesus, and which is the imposter. Two Christs will enter, but only one will leave.
Lutheran Jesus and Catholic Jesus agree, quite strongly, that the other Jesuses in the world, Presbyterian Jesus and Methodist Jesus, to name two, are inferior Jesuses to both of them. This, they say, is because Catholic Jesus was the first and only Jesus with true power until Lutheran Jesus came into being and gained power, as well, some 1500 years later. Every other Jesus who’s popped up since then is merely imitating Lutheran Jesus and has no legitimate claim to the title of TRUE Jesus, the two say. They have also sworn an oath to each other that whosoever wins the battle will summarily seek out and kill all other Jesuses, and all those who follow them. So if you are one of those “other” Jesuses, or one of their followers, you may want to do some converting right about now to even your post fight chances of survival from 0 to an even 50/50. The future of all of Christendom is at stake with this fight, as well as the lives of millions of people. So be sure and watch “Jesus vs Jesus” on HBO this Valentines Day. It’s a fight you’ll literally be dying to see who wins.