So, like, I’m just standin’ there doin’ my thing, ya know, an’ dis big, an’ I mean BIG, dog comes up ta me an’ lifts ‘is leg like ‘es gonna pee on me. So I says to ’em, ‘HEY, Rover, if you pee on me, I’m gonna use my gnome magic on ya an’ turn ya inta a friggin’ little pussy cat, so don’t do it.’ An’ guess what? Dat bastard pissed on me anyways. Da bastard. It’s times like dat when I truly wish we garden gnomes really had magic powers. ‘Cause if we did, I tells ya, dat dog would be meowin’ right now ‘stead ‘o barkin’ at squirrels in da god damn yard. I’m really sick’a bein’ peed on by dogs. It’s bloody humiliatin’!
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Pahaha, if it was just dogs!
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🙂
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Haven’t you got a gnome to go to? All this blogging could be damaging your elf! Relax and fix yourself something to eat…but no goblin it down!
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Thanks. Your words will be taken up for advisement with the the great and powerful Clause in the sky. $Amen$
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While I’ve got your rapt attention my friend; can I ask you if my two pieces this morning showed up on your reader? I’m having blog-related teething troubles and somebody hid the Bonjela 😀 Sorry to be a pain in the posterior old chap
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They did. First to show up there in awhile. WP does strange shit sometimes. Probably because it’s possessed by the spirits of a thousand dead clowns, or so I’ve read. $amen$
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Thanks matey. Much appreciated. As for the dead clowns…I think most of ’em are writing copy in this place 😀
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Good to know you’re putting them to good use. 🙂
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Oh, they’re far too witty to write for such a mundane and moribund blog such as mine. I see them an awful lot on other people’s though…oh yes 😀
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I see them after I’ve had several rum and cokes. I see them, and they speak to me of clownish things. 🙂
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Just a quick thank you for your kind support on my blog my friend. Much appreciated. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance stuff for various magazines – getting paid too fer chrissakes! – so it’s nice to come back and find a few old friends lending their support…so thanks mate 🙂
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They pay me NOT to write stuff, but, fuck ’em, I write anyway. 🙂 $Amen$
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BTW, if you run into that wanker Steeden, tell him to pay me my 2 dollars OR ELSE!!! The bastard!
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Gnomes don’t have magic powers….?? You mean the ones in my yard and round my house have been lying to me? Oh those scoundrels. The things they have gotten me to do and give them.. they had me paint the two angle kids bright red! OH the humanity… or is it Gnomity ?? Hugs
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Little buggers, aren’t they? 🙂
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YES,, but when they get up to that I put a sheet over them to keep the neighbors from seeing it. 🙂 Hugs
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You’re a kind, considerate man.
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Lol. Before I had hamstahs on the blog, there were gnomes. Garden gnomes.
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Chatty little buggers, eh?
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this really is humiliating. The gnomes should have some magical powers
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They should.
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Tell your gnome to get a tazer – the dog will piss himself. And perhaps even do a #2.
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Will do.
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I have to take a photo of a local crazy-ladies house. Well, she’s not crazy, I think she’s a genius, and her entire front yard is covered in gnomes. It’s wild.
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I kinda like ’em myself.
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It’s an age-old Australia tradition to steal someone’s gnome and take it overseas with you, taking photo’s of it in front of various landmarks, and sending the photos back to the owner.
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Didn’t they use that in that British film about the male strippers? Someone took a gnome and took pics of it all around the world.
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Did they? If they did, they stole the idea. Bloody Poms! They lack creativity 🙂
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I do like their fish ‘n chips, however.
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Yeah I think that happened in The Full monty
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Right! That’s it! Funny movie.
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Yeah, it was really funny 🙂
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