My 2020 Platform For The Senate

As some of my readers may know, I’m running for the Senate in 2020 on the following platform: We need to rid America of the pestilence that is poverty by building gas chambers and crematoriums throughout our great country to “get rid” of the poor, the elderly and the disabled–ain’t nuttin worse than a poor AND disabled person, BTW–by gassing and cremating the lazy bastards, ASAP.

I’m SICK and tired of the poor! SICK OF THEM!!!!  It is SO obvious that the poor are poor by choice due to their laziness. This is simply NOT arguable.  Anyone arguing otherwise is a leftist, liberal, SJW piece of crap unable to have calm, rational, non-name-calling discussions.  Period.  We also need to make America a Christian theocracy and put an end to the craziness that is gay marriage and gay “people” in general.  Being gay, like being poor, is a conscious CHOICE done by lazy people who refuse to do the work necessary to be true, God-loving, decent, non-poor, non-disabled, tax-paying, Jesus- worshiping, heterosexual human beings. Again, these are facts and are inerrant in their truth. To deny this is to admit ones own laziness and to brand oneself as a liberal, leftist, snowflake, whining, Hillary-loving, anti-American hack.

To conclude, America will never be free for decent, non-poor, non-gay, Christian humans until enough gas chambers and crematoriums are built to “eliminate” the blight of lazy bastards like the poor and the “gay” from the face of the earth. This can best be done under the all-loving embrace of a Christian theocratic government where the love of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is placed above the hideous laziness of the poor, the gay, the disabled and the gay, disabled poor.

A Vote For Me Is A Vote For Christ

MAFA.  Make America Free Again in 2020.  Vote for me, and help me gas and cremate the poor, the gay, the non-Christian, the disabled and, most importantly, the poor, gay, non-Christian disabled folks who tarnish America’s greatness with their lazy stench and sickening lifestyle.
Yours in Christ’s love, The Arm Chair Pontificator.

P.S. I forgot to mention, we also need to gas and cremate anyone seeking or talking about getting or performing an abortion. These LAZY people, if you can truly even call them “people”, clearly do not deserve the love of Christ or to be anywhere near true, decent, Jesus-loving Americans. Have a lovely day, and remember: Vote for The Arm Chair Pontificator in 2020 so we can begin to bring my dream of a pure, non-lazy America to fruition by wiping out those less worthy, and far more lazy, than we, ourselves, are.  $Amen$

Grace Church Seattle To Implement A Genitalia Inspection For All Members



Liar Land, Washington.  Disciple for Christ and gay genitalia specialist, Jack M’Cockov, has been hired by Grace Church Seattle’s very own Katy Faust to inspect the anuses and privy parts of every Church member to be certain they are not gay, lesbian, trans-gendered, liberal, or Democrats.  The first person who will have his anus and privy parts examined for signs of gayness will be none other than the senior pastor and elder of the Church, Ryan Faust, Katy’s husband.   “I know this may seem a bit odd for anyone who isn’t a devout, loving follower of the Lord, Jesus Christ,” Mr. M’Cockov said earlier, “but Jesus hates fags, and he’s personally given Mrs. Faust the task to ensure they are discriminated against, legally and publicly, as much as humanly possible, throughout the world.  Recently, whilst in the midst of practicing one of her tyrannical and fib-filled speeches about the horrors of gay marriage with her husband, who also hates gays, she noticed that he, himself, kinda looked…well, he kinda looked…  Mrs. Faust immediately called me after noticing this because….well….because you can’t very well go around bashing gays and gay marriage if your gay-hating, proselytizing husband is secretly gay.  Imagine the shame and embarrassment of that?!  She also realized, that, even though Grace Church Seattle members are assumed to not be gay when they join the Church, it’s entirely possible some of them might be gay anyway.  Again, we can’t have that.  So, I was hired to sniff the anuses and genitalia of every Church member to check them for the scent of gayness.”

Gay Genitalia Specialist, Jack M'Cockov, Relaxing Before Inspecting The Anuses And Privy Parts Of Grace Church Of Seattle Members.

Gay Genitalia Specialist, Jack M’Cockov, Relaxing Before Inspecting The Anuses And Privy Parts Of Grace Church Seattle Members.

I learned my gay-sniffing skill from a Catholic priest who used to take me camping when I was 10,” Mr. M’Cockov said.  “He’d have me crawl into a sleeping bag with him and play, Sniff The Weenie And The Poopie, a game he swore would heighten my senses and protect me from perverts and gays throughout my entire life.  Well, it worked.  And it’s now a skill Mrs. Faust has hired me to use to sniff out the gays and perverts who might very well be lurking within the doors of her very own Church.   Let’s hope Mr. Faust isn’t one of them, however.  I can’t imagine Katy spreading her vile form of bigotry and hatred without his help.  I’ll be publishing a very public paper on my findings when I’m finished sniffing around, so watch for it.  Until then, may the all-encompassing love of Jesus Christ surround you, and keep you free from prejudice, each and every day of your lives.  Amen”

Gay Hating Christian Man Returns From Desert As Hot Lesbian Woman

Gary, Indiana.  A gay hating Christian man who entered the desert 40 days ago to meditate on ways he could hate gays more efficiently through the power of Christ’s love, emerged from the desert today as a very hot looking lesbian woman named Bertha. When asked if she was surprised by this more than ironic turn of events, Bertha shrugged her shoulders, scratched her left breast and got on a bus to California without uttering a word.

Gay Hating Christian Man After Returning From Desert As Hot Lesbian Woman

Gay Hating Christian Man Now A Hot Lesbian Woman

Jodie Foster Marries Girlfriend, Christian Bigots Silent

Jodie Foster married her girlfriend, photographer Alexandra Hedison, last weekend and the bigoted world of Christendom has remained silent about it. Knowing full well of the hatred, fear and disdain many Christians have toward homosexuals, and gay marriage in particular, I was curious as to why this was. So I contacted Reverend Tom Diddelsman, a spokesman for the Texas-based anti-gay organization, “Christians United In Love To Hate Fags,” to ask him why this was. Here’s what he said.

Newly Weds Jodie Foster And Alexandra Hedison

Newly Weds Jodie Foster And Alexandra Hedison

“In case you haven’t noticed, you pontificating know it all, Jodie Foster isn’t a faggot. Hell, man, she ain’t even a dyke! Look at ‘er! She’s pretty. And so’s the gal she’s taking turns munching carpets with. That ain’t gross. That’s hot! You gotta be some kind of a penis hungry faggot not to see how hot it is. That kinda thing we need more of. God didn’t smash Sodom to rubble and kill every man, woman, and child in it cause hot babes were sixty-ninin’! He did it cause groups of faggot men were gang rapin’ male visitors to the city. Hell, they even tried rapin’ the damn angels God sent to destroy it! Friggin’ faggots! Make me sick.

Good Kiss

Good Kiss

Only thing that we Christians hate almost, and I emphasize ALMOST, as much as faggots are bull dykes. You know, carpet munchin’ ladies who look more like men than women. Them we hate. But pretty, feminine lookin’ women who carpet munch? No sir, them we definitely do not hate. It’s all logical once you see what Jesus wants. He wants what makes the cocks of heterosexual Christian males tingle with lust to be accepted and what doesn’t to be despised. It’s only marriages between two faggots that we’re against cause, shit, it’s gross imagining two buff, sweaty, naked, hunks pounding their long, thick erect penises in and out of each others gaping man holes in a loving, wedded relationship

Bad Kiss

Bad Kiss

Who could think such a scenario is acceptable? But marriage between two smokin’ hot babes who live for no other purpose than to make each other writhe in orgasm via long, slow, wet cunnilingus, is completely acceptable and, in many cases, quite desirable. Hope this has been helpful, and be sure to let me know if you need clarification on anything else that Jesus wants. Have a great day basking in Christ’s love. A love which he shines equally on all God’s people. Amen.”

Gay Porn Googled Most In Homophobic Southern States

Here’s an interesting video from “The David Pakman Show” about the plethora of gay porn that is apparently being Googled and viewed by our homophobic friends in Southern anti-gay marriage states like Mississippi, Georgia, and Florida. Check it out.

As regular readers of this intellectually stimulating and highly under-stated blog may already know, I despise homophobes and anti-gay marriage Christians more than just about anything on this Earth. I hate them. A lot. They bother me. They’re bigoted fuck-faces who hide behind Jesus in order to justify their hate of those they fear they themselves may actually be: same-sex cock suckers and pussy lickers. This video tells an interesting story, doesn’t it? While they condemn and deny the rights of marriage to gays in the daylight, at night, these Southern State Christian homophobes wank off to gay porn. A lot. I’m telling you, the best solution to homophobia is mandatory same-sex fucking for everyone on their 18th birthday. They don’t have to like it, but everyone has to do it. Maybe that way, this stupid fucking hatred of people based solely on who they fuck will end. And even if it doesn’t completely end, I’m sure as fuck bettin’ my suggestion will greatly reduce it.  Thank you for reading. And please, refrain from smoking while the ride is motion. P.S. I’ve been held prisoner by the Nobel Prize Committee in Geneva, Switzerland this past week. A post about my experience will follow shortly.