A Series Of Strange Outlook.Com Accounts Have Just Subscribed To This Blog

WTF Is Up Wit Dis Shit?

This one’s not a joke.  (No, really, it isn’t).  About 12 Outlook.com accounts with gibberish names signed up to follow this blog in the past 24 hours.  As far as I can tell, they are not real accounts.  I wonder what benefit it is to spammers to do such a thing?  I mean, these accounts signed up to follow me, they didn’t try to leave spam comments on a post.  I’m rather perplexed.   If these are not fake accounts, and the people they belong to read this post, please comment here and tell me why you think a name like vbftgyhmosheer@outlook.com is a good email address to have.    And if this was done by the Academy Awards wanting to give me yet another “Best Actor In A Motion Picture Yet To Be Made” award, I’m not interested, so just stop.  (But, really, this did happen and I am quite curious as to what be up.)

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Odd

As you walk down the street on your way home from work, you can’t help notice, as you do every day, that the people you walk past are very odd.   One man walks with a strange limp and is mumbling something aloud to himself about, “those damned people ruining the country.”   “Odd man,” you think to yourself, “Very odd indeed.”  Next you pass by a grocery store and a woman comes out with a bright purple dress and a large yellow hat tilted so far back on her head you can see her orange-colored hair that is uncombed and greasy.  “Damn,” you again say to yourself, “that’s one odd-looking lady!  Very odd indeed.”

Later, you stop by a McDonald’s to buy a burger for supper and you notice the kid taking your order has pimples and a large, protruding over bite.  “Fuck, you think to yourself, “this kid is funny-looking as hell.  What an odd life he must have to live looking like that.  No girls for him, I’ll bet!”   Then, as you’re leaving the restaurant, you notice a disheveled  homeless person asking people on the street for money.  “I ain’t got any,” you tell him when he asks.  “Shit,” you softly say to yourself when you know he can’t hear you, “that dude is odd, even for a homeless guy.  No one’s gonna give him a dime lookin’ like he does, the bum.”

Finally, as you approach the front door of your apartment building, a little girl walks out and accidentally bumps into you.   “Be careful, you little cretin!  Didn’t your parents teach you to be more careful when you’re walking out of a door?”  The girl merely smiles awkwardly at you showing off the fact two of her front teeth have fallen out.   “Now, THAT, looks really fuckin’ odd,” you say aloud when the girl has walked away.  God damned parents ought to be slapped for letting her walk around looking all goofy like that.   They should tell her to keep her mouth shut til her teeth grow back or other kids are gonna tease her to death for lookin’ like that.”  You quickly walk up the stairs to your apartment and go inside.

As you enter your apartment you remove your worn, leather jacket that has Star Trek insignias sown onto the sleeves.   You place it in your closet in front of your tattered collection of old Playboy magazines. Then you remove the obviously not real hair toupee from the top of your head and place it on top your dresser right next to the dozen or so unopened condoms you keep on hand, “just in case.”  You go to your ‘fridge and take out a beer.  Next, you sit on your couch and remove your shoes.  Your socks have so many holes in them that 8 of your ten toes, with their yellowish, very long nails, protrude from them.   You remove your shirt and loosen your belt.  This allows your round, overblown belly to flop freely out.   You pat it proudly and take a swig of the beer, belching loudly as you do.  You pick up the TV remote, turn on the nightly news, and lean comfortably back into the couch.   On the TV, a story about transgendered people in the military comes on. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” you shout back at it, “those people are way too odd to be allowed in the military.   I served in the military, and if there’s one thing anyone who knows me can tell ya’, there ain’t nuttin’ odd about me!”  You continue watching TV until you finally fall asleep, dreaming of the odd people you’ll see on your way to work in the morning.

 

Check This Out

I’m a firm believer in UFO’s.  I totally believe extremely credible people see objects that do amazing things in the sky that are 100% unidentifiable to them.    The key word here is “unidentifiable”.  My science fiction-loving brain immediately jumps to space creatures, inter-dimensional time travelers, and Star Wars when I hear such stories.    I WANT E.T. to visit and be an awesome friend to us.  I really do, and I truly see no way for there NOT to be life, even intelligent life, elsewhere in the universe if not even our own galaxy.   We, as humans, simply are not that special.  If “we” happened here, something else like “us” is certain to have happened elsewhere in the universe.

However, my skeptical brain always reminds me that just because credible people see UFO’s buzzing about, it doesn’t mean said objects are extraterrestrial in origin.  It simply means, credible people saw some really amazing shit that was truly unidentifiable to them when they saw it.  Here’s an example of one such story that I find to be quite fascinating.

 

When I watched the video in this story, it was hard me not to jump about and scream, “ALIENS ARE HERE!!!! ALIENS ARE HERE!!”  But I didn’t.  I believe the pilots who tell this story are being truthful and honest, and I believe I’m truly looking at footage of something zipping about and hovering over the water that is truly unidentified.  But WHAT it is exactly, I’ve no idea.  I hope one day we will find out that we are not alone and that benevolent aliens are out there checking us out.   But this story, though certainly a truly fascinating one, doesn’t convince me of this.   It does, however, convince me that objects of an unidentified origin are sometimes seen by people who are credible, believable, and trustworthy.  Check it out.

It’s Time For The Adults To Take America Back From The Children

The Proper Place For Trump And His Supporters

Enough.  I’ve had enough of Trump and the fools who put him in office.   Let me define “fool” in this instance for you.  Fool:  Anyone who did not vote, voted for Trump, or voted for an “alternate” candidate in the 2016 Presidential election.  It is YOUR fault this happened.  Period.   And understand this: I’m NOT a huge Hillary supporter, but if she had won, millions would not have just lost their health insurance due to a presidential order.  We’d not be tempting Kim Jong-un to nuke us, and we wouldn’t have just antagonized Iran to the point that they’ll soon be able to nuke us.  As well, if you are a poor, struggling, workin’ class white dude, like I am, and voted for Trump because, “By golly, we really gotta shake things up in Washington, and Trump’s just the straight shooter to do it,” one of three things, or a combo of the three, must be true.  1.)  You’re suffering from a severe cognitive impairment that makes common sense reasoning not possible for you.  2.)  You’re a bigot who feels a sense of entitlement to ‘Murica based entirely on your race.   3.)  You’re a flat-out bad person who’s vindictive, hateful, and mean by nature.

The time of coddling the poor, misunderstood Trump voter needs to end.  Children, at some point, need to be told, “No.  We can not allow you to continue to play with gasoline, tinder, and matches because it’s dangerous and you’re hurting many, many innocent people.”  We are on the verge of a nuclear war because the grown ups in America continue to let a mentally challenged bully run the White House.  Far too many of us, liberals and conservatives alike, are afraid to ruffle the tender feathers of the hyper-sensitive snowflakes who support the hate, rage, and ignorance that radiate from Trump like beams of light from a star gone super nova.  There are schools for children with special needs where the Trump supporters, and Trump, should be put.   It’s time for that to happen, at least on the metaphoric level.    Of course, it most likely never will happen because the GOP owns the keys to said school and they’re not giving them up for fear they’ll be locked up in it, too.

I’m disgusted by my country, by many of the citizens in it, and by the pain and suffering Trump is causing to me and to so many others.   Trump and his supporters are children-petulant, angry, spiteful children who want nothing more than to wreak havoc and enact vengeance on all they consider to be their enemy.   I do not care about “fixing” them or listening to their sad stories about being forgotten and left behind by a society that’s moved beyond their limited capacity for reason and empathy.   Not anymore.  That time is long past.  I just want to stop them; put them somewhere where they can hurt only each other and not the rest of civilization.   How to do this without breaking laws and winding up in prison myself is what perplexes me nowadays.   I don’t know.  But I do know I’ve had enough.  As the rapper Eminem recently said in one of his raps, “I’m drawing a line in the sand and you’re either on my side or you’re on his.”  I’m on Eminem’s side, and I don’t even like rap.

All I have available to me right now to fight back against the vile sickness that is Trumpism are words.  All I can do is vent, so I’m gonna.  Fuck you, Trump!  Fuck you Trump voters and supporters!  And to the apathetic, lazy fucks, I’m looking at you Millennials, who think voting and being involved in how this country is run is simply not important to you, that it doesn’t affect you, FUCK YOU!  And please, please refrain from breeding because the last fucking thing the world needs is more of you fucking lazy idiots.   $Amen$

Divine Righteousness

I’ve been taught since birth that

I am

Special

God

Loves me

He will protect me

And

His

Will is

Righteous

My entire life has been

Based on

This belief

Thus

When my country calls on me to

Kill

Its enemies in

God’s name,

How can I not agree to

Do so?

I’ve been a soldier now for

Five years

Today is the first day that

I’ve had my enemy’s throat beneath my

Blade

He’s

Afraid

I can see the

Terror in his eyes,

But God calls on me to

Kill him.

So I

Slice his throat

Open

His warm blood spills over my hand

And I know,

That even though my stomach wretches at what I’ve done,

Allah loves me because I’ve

Killed an

Infidel

Christian in

His

Name

And

My

Path

To

Paradise

Has

Been

Assured

Allahu Akbar

Ask A Fetus

Dear Fetus, I’ve a serious problem I hope you can help me with. There’s a group of young ruffian kids who constantly run all over my lawn and tear it up. I’ve yelled at them; set bear traps to catch and seriously injure them, and fired multiple rounds of buck shot at them, all to no avail. They mock me with their very existence, and, if they do not stop tearing up my lawn, I will completely lose every shred of sanity I have left. Is there any advice you can give me to stop this unbearable torture I endure a few days out of every summer? Thanks in advance, The Reverend Jerome “Grouchy” Oldman

 

Dear Jerome, you think you’ve got problems?! I’m a fetus! A f**kin’ FETUS! Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to order a pizza when you’re a fetus? Do you?! Well, let me tell you. First, I’m surrounded by embryonic fluid which is constantly f**king up my iPhone. I’ve had to replace the f**kin’ thing 3 times since I was a zygote. 3 f**kin’ times! Next, try ordering a pizza to be delivered to the address: “My mother’s belly.” “Which mother’s belly?” They always ask. Well, how in f**k’s name would I know. I’m a f**kin’ FETUS! I’m INSIDE a womb. I’ve no idea whose womb yet because I can’t f**kin’ see her face! Jesus Christ! It sucks, Jerome! It really f**kin’ sucks! Compared to your “lawn” issue, this one’s far, far worse. So, next time you want to ask me a question, ask me a serious one or f**k off. Hope this helps. Love always, a Fetus