Tag Archives: Babies

06.10.18
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Trump To Star In Incredible Hulk Remake

Donald Trump As The Incredible Baby

Gamma Ray City, New York.   Marvel Studios announced today they will be remaking The Incredible Hulk with Donald Trump in the starring role.   “Yes,” Marvel Studios spokesperson, Sally Wannawail, said earlier.  “We’ve just signed President Trump to star in our new Netflix show, The Incredible Baby.  The show is a remake of the classic Incredible Hulk TV show from the 70’s.   This time, however, instead of a dose of gamma rays turning Bill Bixby into a raging green beast, the show will involve Mr. Trump being turned into a whining, green, little baby every time something doesn’t go his way.   Our first episode shows Mr. Trump as a 21-year-old receiving a draft notice for the Vietnam War and not wanting to go.  He brings the notice to his father who tells him, ‘You know, Donald, your country needs you, and it isn’t very patriotic to not honor your country’s call.’  Upon hearing this, Mr. Trump transforms, for the first time into…The Incredible Baby!  He cries, pouts, screams, poops his pants until, finally, his very wealthy father finds a doctor who’ll, for a price,  write a letter stating Donald has bone spurs and thus can not go to Vietnam.   This calms Mr. Trump down, and he reverts to his adult self, until……Watch Netflix this coming September to find out!”

06.11.16
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10 Month Old Stunned To Learn He’s Only 9 Months Old

10 Month Old Boy, Little Timmy Tonka, Is Shocked To Learn He's Only 9 Months Old

10 Month Old, Timmy Taun-Taun, Learns He’s Only 9 Months Old

Zygote Valley, North Carolina.    A 10 month old boy today, Little Timmy Taun-Taun, was shocked to discover he’s actually only 9 months old.  “My mom screwed up,” Little Timmy said whilst having his diaper changed.  “She has a form of dyslexia that causes her to confuse one month with another.  So, though my mom thought I was born on September 9th of 2015, it was actually October 9th of 2015 when I was born.   She figured this out when she more carefully looked over my birth certificate, something she probably should have done much sooner given her condition.  Any way, she apologized to me for the mistake, and I’ve forgiven her.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my bottle.”

03.04.16
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Republican Babies

"Donwald Twump is big, big poo-poo head. He's mean silly, and smells like pee. Don't vote for him. He'll puke on ya." Signed, 'Lil Mitt Romney

“Donwald Twump is big, big poo-poo head. He’s mean, silly, and smells like pee. Don’t vote for him. He’ll puke on ya.” Signed, ‘Lil Mitt Romney

 

"Donald Trump is a piece of glass in the middle of a cookie that cuts open your mouth when you go to eat it. He has an I.Q. lower than a newt. His mommy gives him whatever he wants, so that's why he's such a spoiled, smelly-face baby. He hasn't had a good diaper change in months. Keep far, far away from him." Signed, 'Lil John McCain

“Donald Trump is a piece of glass in the middle of a cookie that cuts open your mouth when you go to eat it. He has an I.Q. lower than a newt. His mommy gives him whatever he wants, so that’s why he’s such a spoiled, smelly face baby. He hasn’t had a good diaper change in months. Keep far, far away from him  He smells.” Signed, ‘Lil John McCain

 

"Romney and McCain are stupid dum-dums. They don't like me cause I've got this beautiful hair on my head and they're pretty much bald and wrinkly lookin'. They really peed me off by not kissing my little baby ass, so when I'm President, I'm gonna carpet bomb them and everyone they know into radioactive dust piles. Don't fudge with the "D" man!" Signed, 'Lil Donald Trump

“Romney and McCain are stupid dumdums. They don’t like me cause I’ve got this beautiful hair on my head and they’re pretty much bald and wrinkly lookin’. They really peed me off by not kissing my little baby ass, so when I’m President, I’m gonna carpet bomb them and everyone they know into radioactive dust piles. Don’t fudge with the “D” man!” Signed, ‘Lil Donald Trump