I’m Running For The Senate In 2020

Hello, my fellow Americans.  I’m running for the Senate in 2020 as a Republican.  The main policy on my platform will be to build gas chambers and crematoriums throughout the country to deal with the “problem” of the poor and the disabled.  Really, do we need ’em?  More importantly, do we need to pay taxes for idiotic programs to “help” ’em?  Seriously, do we?  Naw.  Gas ’em.  Cremate ’em, and use their ashes to fertilize American veggie gardens.  I feel my policy here is sound and will be backed by the all-loving power of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, TrueChristians everywhere, and the best/wealthiest 1% of America’s proudest conservative citizens.

The Simple Solution To Poverty In America

I’ve always considered myself an independent who’s leaned left, but, lately, I’ve been changed by the joyous rapture I experience when watching President Trump and his ilk bringing the positive love and empathy they do to our fine country.  So, I’ve now become a Christ-loving, conservative Republican who believes in wiping out the poor and disabled, literally, and making America a true, tax-free, Christian theocracy so the all-encompassing love of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ can be shared with every single American whether they want it to be or not.  I say, let’s gas and cremate ALL disabled and poor/lazy people, who are sucking our country dry of resources, so we can give rich people handouts, OOPS, I mean tax breaks, and deport anyone who doesn’t agree with my idea of a TrueChristian, theocratic, federal government.

My ideas may very well disturb you if you’re an atheist or non-Christian when my Christian theocracy becomes the rule of law in America, but, get ready, because it soon will.  There’s so much quiet complacency and lack of involvement, politically speaking, in our country, especially by young people, that a radical, gas chamber-buildin’, conservative Christian like me can’t help but develop enough power to win the Senate, and eventually the White House itself.  And I’ll do it all right in front of a stunned nation that’ll, perhaps, later say, “How the eff did THAT guy get SO much power and why isn’t anyone doing ANYTHING to stop him?  Christ, they’ve just gassed and cremated 659 poor and disabled people not more’n a block down the street from me!  Whaaa haaaapeenn?!”

If you begin to worry at all about what I’m saying here or think that it may, just may, be wrong or, heaven forbid, in bad taste, don’t.  It’s harmless.  I’m harmless.  So, don’t worry.  There’s no need to get involved in a fight over the things I plan on doing for America.  As a matter of fact, I’m counting on most people NOT getting involved.  You know, like usual.

Lastly, I’d like to leave you with these thoughts.  There are a few disabled vets in my building who are complaining that their food stamps are gonna be cut off due to the current government shut down.  Really? I mean, COME ON!!!!  How friggin’ LAZY can people get!!!!  Why in the name of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, should MY tax dollars go to pay for some disabled person’s food in the first place???!!! Talk about a friggin’ WASTE of MY hard-earned money!!! If anything good at all comes out of this shut down, it will be to expose the lazy bastards out there getting free food on OUR tax dollars!!!  Christ, this is NOT good.  See, if we just gassed and cremated ALL of these poor and disabled lazy bastards, we’d all have more $$ in our pockets.  And the air would smell better too because, let’s be honest, poor and disabled people STINK to high heaven.  Yuck.

IBTD1 For U.S. Senate

When I win my Senate race in 2020, I will have the political power to begin implementing my political agenda.  I’ve been getting positive support for my ideas from my Christian pals on the right and from conservatives in general throughout America.  I’m counting on most “regular” folks to not take me my agenda seriously and think I’m really no different from whichever liberal bastard I’ll run against in 2020.  It’s all the same.  It’s all the same.  It’s all the same.  If everyone repeats this ten times when they kinda get worried about my agenda, they’ll stop worryin’, and all will be the same.  All will be the same.  All will be the same.  Vote for Inspiredbythedivine1 in 2020.  Vote to end poverty by gassing and cremating the poor, and vote to finally bring a Christian theocracy into America as law.  $Amen$

 

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Inerrant Rantings Of An Entirely Sane Pontificator

Here are two recent, perfectly inerrant, logical, and anger free rants I recently had in response to comments from Trump supporters and religious nutters on another blog.   I’m hoping these finally get the Nobel Committee to give me my friggin’ Nobel Prize.

1.)  As a flat earth creationist, I must say, I LOVE Trump. Since his election the world has become younger and flatter almost by the hour. Thanks to one of the most devout Christians to ever hold the title of President, the love of the Lord Jesus Christ has embraced America, and soon we’ll have what I’ve always wanted: a fully functioning Christian theocracy where any and all who do not properly worship Our True Lord, Jesus Christ, will be physically put on a boat and shipped to the Middle East where they belong.  I’m personally writing Trump’s mentor, Vladimir Putin, a long letter thanking him for helping Trump make America great again, just like it was in 1952 when Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ was President. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the Mexican border to use my body as a human shield to keep Mexicans out of my country until Trump gets Mexico to pay for the border wall to end all border walls.  It’s the only way to keep America truly safe from Hispanic rapists and hoodlums.  $Amen$

2.)  Open borders are the best. Christ, I say build a friggin’ cement highway across the Atlantic to Europe and let EVERY Mooslim there drive on over in horse-drawn carriages.  We need ’em fer target practice, the thievin’ buggers.
Taxes?  Who needs the Dems for that, the rat, snowflake bums.  Christ, the omnibus bill the Republicans/Russians just passed and Putin’s lil puppet, President Donny Bone-Spurs, just signed, jacked up our deficit by what,1.8 trillion or so? I mean COME ON, that’s got Libtard/Democrat written ALL over it.  But I’m bettin’ Draft Dodge Don and his Russian/Republicans can do better than that!  Why not put 8 or 9 trillion more onto that spending bill and give a 95% tax cut to the rich to jack the debt up another 6 or 7 trillion?  It’ll make ya feel all warm ‘n Democrat-like inside.  It will me at least

The GOP, Ya’ Gotta Love ‘Em!

And hell, we actually need to beg more people to cross our borders.  Man, just last night, I shot and killed 56 German and Polish illegals who were trying to kick in my front door.  A-holes wanted food or some such crap.  Can you believe that?  As well, I’ve been attacked by, like, I don’t know, 89 Mexican and Italian illegals in the last month alone.  They said, in really broken English, mind you, that they wanted to grab some pussy like lil Donny does and wanted me to show ’em how. ‘Course, I shot ‘n killed the bastards.  Ain’t no friggin’ illegal som’bitch gonna talk to me about pussy-grabbin’.  That’s for American Presidents alone to do.  Ha! I sure showed them.  So, let ’em keep on comin’ over.  I like shootin’ ’em.  Makes me almost as happy as kickin’ Dems in their privates.  Almost, but not quite.  BANG!  Gotcha, ya’ friggin’ illegal bastard, ya’.

 

May the love of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the ONE TRUE GOD, be with everyone out there.  May His Holy Arms wrap over you and bring you freedom from Republican omnibus bills, pussy-grabbers, traitorous political parties in line with Russian oligarchs, and deficit raisin’ conservatives who’ve lately made even the wildest, leftist Democrats look like Ronald Reagan. $Amen$

Democrats Finally Grow Some Balls

It’s about fucking time.  We, progressives, liberals, Democrats, and all normal human beings, need to fight, resist, and obstruct Trump and his Putin-loving Republican cronies at every single turn.   They’re anti-American, traitorous dogs.  Fuck ’em all.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/senate-democrats-face-a-key-test-tuesday-amid-promises-to-stand-up-to-trump/2017/01/31/1685487a-e7bd-11e6-b82f-687d6e6a3e7c_story.html

Bible Quotes Republicans Love

bible4-9

1.)  “And upon learning that the sickest people in the village had no health insurance, Jesus refused to heal them and they died.”  John 22:4-5

2.)  “After turning the water into wine, Jesus proceeded to grab all the women at the wedding by the pussy because, well, because he was famous, and they could do nothing to stop him.”  Luke 44:8-9

3.)  “Jesus then created a welfare system in which the wealthiest members of society were given free handouts and tax breaks by the Government whilst the poorest members were allowed to suffer in poverty and die.”  Mark 3:67-69

4.)  “Jesus said to the stranger, ‘I cast you out because your skin is of a different hue and you speak with a weird accent.’  After he did this, there was great rejoicing amongst the people.”  Matthew 32:67-69

5.)  “And there shall come a time when King Putin will so completely have his rectum licked by a childish orange oaf that he shall do all in his power to aid the orange oaf into becoming King of his own land.”  Revelation 7:43-45

Five Jokes About Republicans

GOP_8

1.)  Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None.  Republicans don’t do menial labor.  They hire undocumented workers to do it for five cents an hour.

 

2.)  Q: What’s the hardest thing most Republicans will ever have to do?

A: Wait til their 18th birthday to gain access to their trust fund.

 

3.)  Q: How do Republicans acquire land?

A: They wait for their relatives to die.

 

4.)  Q: What’s the name of the first bank Republicans borrow money from without having to pay it back?

A: Mommy and Daddy’s Loans Unlimited

 

5.)  Q:  Besides a cornea operation without anesthesia, name three things Republicans hate most.

A:  The poor, the disabled, and the social programs that help keep them alive.

 

Donald Trump: The Next Jesus

Donald Trump Says, "Like Jesus before me, I've come to this Earth to help angst-ridden, poorly educated white guys, and a few gals, take back America from pansy-ass liberals, and Republican Presidential candidates with Wicked Witch-like noses.   It's time, my fellow racists, misogynists, and xenophobes to put America back into the hands of racists, xenophobes, and misogynists.  Vote for me, and I'll outlaw all executive orders except the ones I decree.  God bless bigotry, and God bless the white, angry, American male!"

Donald Trump Says, “Like Jesus before me, I’ve come to this Earth to help angst-ridden, poorly educated white guys, and a few gals, take back America from pansy-ass liberals, and Republican Presidential candidates with Wicked Witch-like noses. It’s time, my fellow racists, misogynists, and xenophobes to put America back into the hands of racists, xenophobes, and misogynists. Vote for me, and I’ll outlaw all executive orders except the ones I decree. God bless bigotry, and God bless the white, angry, American male!”

Republican Babies

"Donwald Twump is big, big poo-poo head. He's mean silly, and smells like pee. Don't vote for him. He'll puke on ya." Signed, 'Lil Mitt Romney

“Donwald Twump is big, big poo-poo head. He’s mean, silly, and smells like pee. Don’t vote for him. He’ll puke on ya.” Signed, ‘Lil Mitt Romney

 

"Donald Trump is a piece of glass in the middle of a cookie that cuts open your mouth when you go to eat it. He has an I.Q. lower than a newt. His mommy gives him whatever he wants, so that's why he's such a spoiled, smelly-face baby. He hasn't had a good diaper change in months. Keep far, far away from him." Signed, 'Lil John McCain

“Donald Trump is a piece of glass in the middle of a cookie that cuts open your mouth when you go to eat it. He has an I.Q. lower than a newt. His mommy gives him whatever he wants, so that’s why he’s such a spoiled, smelly face baby. He hasn’t had a good diaper change in months. Keep far, far away from him  He smells.” Signed, ‘Lil John McCain

 

"Romney and McCain are stupid dum-dums. They don't like me cause I've got this beautiful hair on my head and they're pretty much bald and wrinkly lookin'. They really peed me off by not kissing my little baby ass, so when I'm President, I'm gonna carpet bomb them and everyone they know into radioactive dust piles. Don't fudge with the "D" man!" Signed, 'Lil Donald Trump

“Romney and McCain are stupid dumdums. They don’t like me cause I’ve got this beautiful hair on my head and they’re pretty much bald and wrinkly lookin’. They really peed me off by not kissing my little baby ass, so when I’m President, I’m gonna carpet bomb them and everyone they know into radioactive dust piles. Don’t fudge with the “D” man!” Signed, ‘Lil Donald Trump