Putin To Receive Alaska As Christmas Gift From Trump

Santa Trump Puckering His Lips In Anticipation Of Kissing Vladimir Putin's Anus

Santa Trump Puckering His Lips In Anticipation Of Kissing Vladimir Putin’s Anus

Moscow, Russia.   President-Elect Donald Trump today said he will be returning Alaska to Russia as soon as he becomes President on January 20th.  “Yeah,” Trump said earlier, “Alaska was bigly purchased in 1867 by a liberal asshole named Andrew Johnson.  What a fuckin’ sissy he was!  I mean, COME ON!  Alaska is, like, cold n’ dark, like, 14 months outta the year!  Why in fuck’s name do we need to own it?  Crazy, eh?  So, as a Christmas gift to the greatest, and sexiest man alive, Vladimir Putin, I’m returning Alaska to Russia as soon as I become President.  This gift, includes every man,  woman and child living in Alaska today, AND, it includes all the oil that’s in Alaska.  Really, why in George W. Bush’s name do we need oil from Alaska when we’ve oil from Texas to fuel our economy?   This gift will help make America great again because it will give a piece of America to Russia and Vladimir Putin, the very things that put my orange ass into office.  God bless Russia, and God bless Vladimir Putin!”

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18 thoughts on “Putin To Receive Alaska As Christmas Gift From Trump

  1. What happens to Palin? Is she also included in the gift package

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  2. I’m afraid I can hardly find this funny – it’s just too real 😦

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  3. No sadly I heard Sarah is moving south to washington in an attempt to convert the heathens. Oh Gods this is so close to the truth to scare the underwear snot off me. Great reporting oh wise one. Hugs ( almost spelled wise one as “wise owned” ) must have been thinking tRumpism. Hugs

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  4. Does this mean we’ll finally get rid of Sarah Palin???

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