Fiction City, Australia. While trashing gay marriage on the Australian TV show, QandA, last night, Katy Faust of Grace Church Seattle, an anti-gay, Christian church in Washington State, admitted she will be divorcing her husband, pastor and elder of Grace Church, Ryan Faust, because she has fallen madly in love with a kangaroo named Bouncy. “I never thought I would ever find an animal attractive, let alone fall in love with one,” Mrs. Faust said earlier, “but when I met Bouncy, while touring the Outback a few days ago, all of that changed. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s able to jump, like, 6 feet into the air and use his hind legs to put a serious whippin’ on anyone who disagrees with me and my bigoted views on gay people and gay marriage.
The only real issue I had with Bouncy was that he was a Jew, and I find Jews to be almost as distasteful as I do gays. BLOODY CHRIST KILLERS! However, because he loves me so much, Bouncy agreed to convert to my particular sect of Christianity and has joined me in my worldwide campaign to stomp, get it stomp, out gay marriage wherever it rears its ugly head. So, wish us luck, and please, support us in our efforts to find acceptance in a world that, all too cruelly, shuns those who are different. Thanks, and have a hoppin’ day.”