Faustshire, Washington. Grace Church Seattle, that gay-hating congregation of loving Christians lead by Ryan Faust and his beautifully bigoted wife, Katy, has released a brand new, Christian oriented board game called, Chase The Homos Around The Globe. Proceeds from sales of the game will be used to help the Fausts travel the world and spew their hatred for LGBT people everywhere. The game is designed to be played by five Christ-loving Christian bigots, and one unlucky homosexual. It comes with a game board designed to resemble a world map, five white Christian playing pieces that look like Republican Presidential Candidate, Ted Cruz, and one homosexual game piece that resembles the Christian playing pieces only it’s pink.
The game starts with the five Christian pieces in the center of the board, or “Heaven”. The homosexual player piece can be placed on any continent the gay player chooses to place it. The Christian players then roll a die, and move that many places toward the continent the homosexual player’s piece is on. Each place the Christian players land on the board has an anti-gay slogan or a Bible verse written on it. They’re to read the saying in a taunting way at the homosexual player each time they move their piece. The game is over once all five Christian players arrive on the continent with the homosexual player’s piece, or when all of the anti-gay slogans and Bible verses have been read. The homosexual player can then either chose to admit homosexuality is a sin and be baptized into Christ’s Church, or they can try their luck with the game again by moving their playing piece to another continent and shouting, “Do over!” Either way, the five Christian players win, and they always will. It’s what God wants.
The cost of the game is 24.95, and, like was said earlier, all proceeds from the sales of it go to help Katy Faust and her homophobic husband spread their particular brand of Christian hate and bigotry across the globe. Buy now, and receive a, Grace Church Seattle Hates Fags, T-Shirt absolutely free, while supplies last.