Americans Biggest Dumb Dumbs Ever Says British First Grader

In news today from across the pond, British first grader, Timmy T. Sipper, released the following statement with the aid of his teacher, Ivana Biskit. “I think that Americans are the biggest dumb, dumbs ever because they think learning is bad, so they don’t do it. They think the world is so young that we lived with dinosaurs together and that did not happen because I like dinosaurs and even I know people didn’t live with them. They were SOOO big, they would eat you if you saw one and there would not be any people left. It is stupid not to learn because that is why we have our brains to make us smarter.

Timmy T. Sipper With Message For Americans

Timmy T. Sipper With A Message For Americans

My teacher said Americans think all the stars up there too aren’t old and that they are little like me. That is stupider than when my friend Sally put the glue on her sandwich and ate it and threw up on Ms. Biskit’s desk and it smelled bad when Ms. Biskit put this green stuff on it that made us get sicker cause it was smellier than Sally’s throw-up. When I do things that are dumb, my Mum gets really mad and says, ‘Don’t be dumb and do dumb stuff. Be smart and do smart stuff and listen to Ms. Biskit causes she’s smart and went to school a long time to learn things to teach you.’ So Americans, you are dumb and need to listen and not be dumb cause it’s stupid to be dumb when there’s people who went to school a long time to help you not be dumb. Thank you and don’t be so dumb anymore, Timmy T. Sipper.”


66 thoughts on “Americans Biggest Dumb Dumbs Ever Says British First Grader

  1. How sad the most powerful nation on the planet needs to be told what’s what by a British first grader. It might explain why, twenty or thirty years from now, it will no longer be the world’s most powerful nation anymore.
    This is a rather famous clip you may have already seen that kind of hammers this point home in the funniest and poignant way at the same time:

  2. Is it a national problem? How can a nation be so dumb? What happened to your educators?

    • It is a national problem. We suffer in America from a disease called anti-intellectualism and an intuitive fear of knowledge and learning. America is a Christian country. The Right’s version of Christianity permeates all government at the Federal level. We grant tax exempt status to religious institutions with property worth billions, and it is disgusting. I just read two articles stating that 33% of Americans believe Evolution is false and most think the big bang isn’t a real event that happened and when our universe began. Science is equivocated in America to be no more right or wrong than fairies, gods, and alien abductions. And everyone feels they are as right as anyone else and need equal consideration for why their values should be the backbone of our education system. There are state governments considering banning their local Fox affiliate from airing Neil deGrasse Tyson’s “Cosmos” program because he talks about evolution and the big bang and not fucking Jesus and the Gospels. So to answer your question, yes, Americans are dumb. There is an epidemic of stupidity in America when it comes to education, and a pandemic when it comes to being silent about it.

    • Bad, this is really bad.
      May if Pew were to carry out a study here, I wouldn’t be surprised that we would be much worse. Unless they meet with me 🙂

    • Check out the video John left on a comment in the post I did with links to articles in it. Americans have an extremely hard time with basic information about their own towns and country. I’m not jut saying we’re dumb on big science stuff, we’re dumb on basic fundamental knowledge about our own backyards. anyway, I got pissed about it can wrote a blanket post to cover Americans in general cause shit like that pisses off people. And I like to piss people off. Gives me a stiffy. 😀

    • I can’t see the video/ post by John.

    • It works and those are dumber than dumb

    • And entirely real. We really are THAT dumb. I kid you not.

    • OMFG. I’ve said it before — on this blog — but I am so embarrassed to call myself an American. But hey — we have guns, lots and lots of guns.

      “Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal (R) signed a sweeping gun rights bill on Wednesday.

      House Bill 60, also known as the Safe Carry Protection Act, will allow licensed gun owners to carry their firearms into public places, including bars, nightclubs, schools, churches and government buildings.”

    • Same shit is happening here in Chicago. Guns in fucking bars. Maybe we should just insist everyone be armed 24/7 and encourage people to shoot at the first thing that moves. We are not progressing.

    • What’s disconcerting about this is that American’s limibc system appears to be over-riding their frontal lobes, as noted by that Psychology Today article — and there are many peer-reviewed studies showing that conservatives (who are the ones passing these gun laws) tend to have increased gray matter volume in their amygdala (fear, aggression) which is in the limbic region of the brain.

      In other words — like you mentioned — shoot first, question later. 😦

    • I have a book called, “The Republican Brain” that addressed some of this too. I’ll have to dig it out as I’ve forgotten the author’s name. It was good though.

  3. Guess you should take up a post as a teacher Sir. A bit all encompassing when it comes to Americans. Satirical gem. Do you know in State schools here we don’t do religious education as such any more?

    • It is all encompassing. I do not forgive passivity any more than I do purposeful idiocy. Christianity as it’s practiced by the right, inundates the American government like a cancer that is welcome rather than despised. In our bloody Constitution we declare religion and state to be separate then grant religious institutions special deference and tax exempt status on land that is worth billions in tax money. Dumb. And too many Americans are deaf and dumb to see how bad it is.

    • Religious Right=Free Votes=Tax Exemption=Churches Teaching Obedience and Paying Taxes=Fair Enough?

    • Yep. That’s about it. Fair enough. Now say your prayers and pay your taxes or you’ll burn in hell, you heathen.

    • It’s spelled “thou”, and I’m Jew(ish…), hihihi☺

    • I do find it worrying that most of our leaders – men and women I would like to think are if anything my intellectual superiors – believe in myth; take it as gospel! Not a sound basis for decision making in my book!

    • Right. I’ve no problem if someone wants to worship Elvis as their god, but I’ve a huge problem when one’s belief in invisible shit affects me because laws are being made based on it. Religion MUST be separate from government or there is no freedom of and from religion. My point isn’t that people shouldn’t believe in something if it helps them, it’s that such beliefs be taken out of my fucking life. I do not need your god to give me moral codes and laws.

    • Presently only the French come close to a secular state – probably be good if the rest of us worked to their example in this, and if I’m being honest, most other things as well.

    • Oui! Bloody French. Always first! And they’re Catholic too. Still, outside of Islamic ruled countries, America’s political brand of Christianity all but rules the roost. That will be denied, but it’s true.

    • You folks are moving in the right direction. I’m not declaring to stop people from believing. I’m saying to put it in it’s place, and that place is not above all else.

    • Agree.

    • It’s more in some places than others, I think. Common sense that is. I, being a dumb American, didn’t realize until I started communicating on these blogs with you all, that the grip of religion wasn’t as tight on people’s necks as it is here. Bloody Australia has an atheist as a President I hear, an atheist! in America, to say you’re an atheist is akin to saying you’re a raper of infants. There’s no way an atheist wins shit here. And we have separation of church and state written into our Constitution! It’s very impolite of me, from an American view point to write this blog the way I do. I deliberately go over the top and I’m deliberately one sided and nasty because I’ve had to listen to the Right’s Christian horse shit for too long.

    • Nick Clegg our deputy Prime Minister is a self declared atheist as it happens – as is Ed Milliband the leader of the opposition and one who may become PM in the next year or so!

    • If an atheist tried running for office here, he’d be crucified and no one would wonder why. The point is, it needs to not matter. It doesn’t matter to me that a Christian is President or that my Mayor here is Jewish. What matters to me is that it matters to voters here. Why? I’m atheist because I just don’t see evidence for god. I don’t care that people do, I care only that I’m judged and condemned because I don’t. So, I bitch about it here cause I can’t do much else.

    • Keep up the fine work Sir.

    • Indeed I will. You do the same.

    • Here …, where, sir?☺

    • ?

    • The question was for “mikesteeden” but it ended up elsewhere☺

    • Oops again.

    • Yeah, Oops!
      Er, oops??

    • No. I was saying oops cause I farted. Sorry, it’s a stinky one too.

    • Oh, in America. It goes far back too. The story “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” demonstrates it in the Character of Ichabod Crane. He’s a spindly wimp, very intelligent and a teacher, who I think even wears glasses. Bram Bones on the other hand is dumb as a door knob but muscular, desired by babes, and heroic. Also, as much as I love “Forrest Gump”, it displays an anti-intellectual message: The bumbling simpleton always wins the day. In reality, it is not good to dumb, but what’s worse is to chose to be dumb and feel proud for doing so.

    • Oops.

    • Not sure where ‘here’ is but any place the message of common sense is required – which I’m guessing is pretty much across the entire globe.

    • I asked because I had the chance of involvement in educational systems of three countries, and experienced the relevance of several options, and have found interesting things, from fairly non-biased compulsory Religious Education, where rather cultural aspects of major religions are taught, to optional, denominational RE as requested by parents, and also no religious education at all, with children left to bits of information scattered through humanity subjects.
      I have found mandatory, culturally informative RE as a good tool to raise both respectful awareness of religious rights, and also a healthy critical approach to such beliefs.
      Having children with parents of different religions, sitting in the same class and dining hall, without killing each other as their parents did, will initiate questions leading to a better understanding of how to avoid past tragedies…
      I am culturally Agnostic Jewish, but one of my best blogger friends is Palestinian Atheist, one of my best respected friend is culturally and religiously Muslim, another highly regarded blogger friend is Atheist and still have devoted Christian friends. We all know of each other’s “persuasions”, but somehow learnt to respect each other even if we strongly disagree when it comes to beliefs.
      I have found that information and access to it is the best tool against bigotry, but a country which still hasn’t come to terms with the difference between fact based science and belief based religion, has either reached its pre-decline historical senility status, or hasn’t yet grown up to the respect it tries to enforce, instead of earning it…

    • Excellent. That was well put and very true. I’m a Catholic by culture and atheist by belief. I’ve worked in one capacity or another for the Archdiocese of Chicago and have friends with various beliefs. Intelligent, well educated individuals who are fairly well adjusted generally learn to co-exist. When dogmatic black and white thinking dominate the thought processes of too many in a given group, shit happens that’s never good when new ideas try to enter in. I just bloody don’t know why it is SO important to the god damn Christian Right fuckers in America to insist they are absolutely right about shit they can’t possibly be absolutely right about. Aggravates the shit outta me.

    • Nevertheless, when it comes to real life issues, where plain commonsense should suffice and need no judicial system to decide right from wrong, the Christian Right with all their billionaires and influence, just show their true colours, i.e. shepherds of “law” abiding, dumb taxpaying mindless masses. And if anyone has a problem with this, let them be reminded of Terry Schiavo, assassinated under the righteous eyes of a Christian nation…
      If a self proclaimed Christian nation has arrived to advocate a “justice” system condoning what’s been done to that poor woman, I’d like to remind them of all truly great Christians who have chosen to disobey a “justice” system which condoned injustice, like all those pastors, preachers and lay people who risked their life by saving Jews and other unwanted people, against the official position of their state approved churches.
      Having said that, I have just proven, that you don’t need religion to be neither human, nor good, but oftentimes quite the opposite…

    • Well said once again. When I listen to the righteous Right spout their shit, I often think that they feel they are so powerful and willful that they somehow deliberately willed themselves to be born into wealthy families and advantage. Most folks who weren’t born into such niceties have a much different outlook on the world. I heard Mitt Romney going on about how bloody hard hr worked to get where he is. Right, pal. And that reminds me, how in God’s name do Mormons get away with not being outed as fake Christians? Not that I care, but people do, and no one pointed out that Mormons are way out different than your fly by night wacko Christian. Ugh.

    • A most interesting and – if its the right word – compassionate take on the subject. A long time ago I attended a Church of England school where RE was rammed down my throat – not that I realised it at the time of course. It was, looking back, as if I had been groomed and in hindsight that makes me a little angry still. Regardless, I take the interesting points you have made – trust you don’t mind if I follow?

    • Please do.But remember, I claim to pontificate on shit I know nothing about, so follow at your own risk. I’m always right though. I have faith in that, and how could faith ever be bad? (9/11)

    • Have I messed up here – was I replying to inspiredbythedivine or liberty of thinking who replied to my comment re this post. Do believe I’m bloody useless!

    • No. I am. I always get it mixed up as to who I’m replying to when there’s more than one at a time. I’m dumb. I’m an American. But I’m proud of it god damn it.

    • I am absolutely with you on the matter. Denominational schools are known to select their RE teachers mostly from their own ranks, by making it clear in their job adverts that an applicant is expected to share the denomination’s ethos.
      It is therefore obvious that RE taught in such schools shall become biased…
      I myself have chosen several times not to apply, because requirements as such…
      And I’ll be much honoured to continue a conversation which seeks any further common grounds of understanding and mutual respect☺

    • ? OK. Who’s responding to whom? I know one thing, and that is I’ve no idea what the hell’s going on. Welcome to my world. 😀 And who left the bloody back door open? Damn cat got out again! Bloody hell!

    • Miaou☺?

    • Woof! Woof! Woof! And a big HEE HAW!!!

    • Good on you Sir – I am most pleased to do the very same.

    • Indeed. I too am a tad perplexed by a comment section gone screwy. Sorry about that. I don’t have a clue what happened.

  4. Hahahah — that reminded me of the movie Idiocracy.

    “Narrator: As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent.

    But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.”

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