Tag Archives: Science

07.18.15
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The Nebulous

stellar-nebula-cone-nebula-stars-wallpaperI

Fear

The Nebulous

I

I

I

Fear

It

I

Need to

Know

I

I

Need to

Be

Sure

 

You?

You are

Inside

My

Head

You?

You are

Unwise

You are

Unsure

I

I

I

Need

Certainty

You?

You are

Not

Me

You

Hate

Me

You?

You are

Lost

I

Am

Not

You are

Wrong

I

Am

Not

You?

You are

Damned

Cursed

Dead

I

I

I

Am

Alive

All

I

Am

Loved

I

Am

Right

You are

Wrong

I

Live

But

Not

If

You

Live

So

I

Hate

I

Kill

And

Only

I

Am

Loved

 

See?

I

Win

I

Always,

Always

Win

 

04.27.15
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Neil deGrasse Tyson On Bill Maher’s Show

I love Neil deGrasse Tyson. The world would be a much better place if more people were like him. Also, I want him to be my dad. So, Neil, if you’re reading this, will you please be my dad and take me to ball games and go fishing with me? Please. I’ll be good. I promise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed74p6jEjZU

06.16.14
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Intelligent Design Is Ridiculously Unintelligent, Jesus Says

Jesus Says, "Come On, Dudes, Ya must Be Joking! I May Be Smart, But I'm Not THAT Smart!"

Jesus Says, “Come On, Dudes, Ya must Be Joking! I May Be Smart, But I’m Not THAT Smart!”

Jesus today stated that He is embarrassed by the stupidity exhibited by far too many human beings. “What kind of moron thinks I actually sat down and designed the universe,” Christ said earlier. “I mean has anyone of the chowder heads who believe this crap actually read a physics book? That is some hard shit, man. I mean, I was like a Shakespeare, English Lit type of dude in high school, not a god damned science major. I may be smart, but not THAT smart. I still have no fucking idea what a “Higgs boson” is. WAY over my head, dudes. When I moved to this universe after my last divorce, it was as is. Fuck if I know how it got made. Maybe it just came from nothing, like me. Any way, knock off the shit people and just fucking be nice to each other. I recall leaving instructions to that effect somewhere down there. Read those and leave the science to people who can admit it when they don’t have a fucking answer to something. Intelligent Design? Right. Give me a break!”

 

04.23.14
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Americans Biggest Dumb Dumbs Ever Says British First Grader

In news today from across the pond, British first grader, Timmy T. Sipper, released the following statement with the aid of his teacher, Ivana Biskit. “I think that Americans are the biggest dumb, dumbs ever because they think learning is bad, so they don’t do it. They think the world is so young that we lived with dinosaurs together and that did not happen because I like dinosaurs and even I know people didn’t live with them. They were SOOO big, they would eat you if you saw one and there would not be any people left. It is stupid not to learn because that is why we have our brains to make us smarter.

Timmy T. Sipper With Message For Americans

Timmy T. Sipper With A Message For Americans

My teacher said Americans think all the stars up there too aren’t old and that they are little like me. That is stupider than when my friend Sally put the glue on her sandwich and ate it and threw up on Ms. Biskit’s desk and it smelled bad when Ms. Biskit put this green stuff on it that made us get sicker cause it was smellier than Sally’s throw-up. When I do things that are dumb, my Mum gets really mad and says, ‘Don’t be dumb and do dumb stuff. Be smart and do smart stuff and listen to Ms. Biskit causes she’s smart and went to school a long time to learn things to teach you.’ So Americans, you are dumb and need to listen and not be dumb cause it’s stupid to be dumb when there’s people who went to school a long time to help you not be dumb. Thank you and don’t be so dumb anymore, Timmy T. Sipper.”