Yahweh Tells Man To Kill Son, Man Put In Mental Hospital

"Kill that fuckin' boy," says The Lord of Love, Yahweh

“Kill that fuckin’ boy,” says The Lord of Love, Yahweh

Bible-Is-Literal-Town, Ohio.   A crazed Christian man today, via the word of Yahweh, brought his 6-year-old son to the town square and attempted to cut out his heart for the Lord with a big, nasty-looking knife.  Several police rushed in on him and took the knife away before he could kill the boy.  The man is now in a mental hospital and on several anti-psychotic drugs.  Yahweh has been nowhere to be seen, as usual.   This  report has been brought to you by humans who love Yahweh because he’s more real than reality.

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22 thoughts on “Yahweh Tells Man To Kill Son, Man Put In Mental Hospital

  1. Again, I would not be surprised if this actually had happened…

  2. I could explain the cultural and sociological significance AND the underlying sub-text of this passage of the Bible, but since I’m Catholic I’d probably get rocks or copies of the Da Vinci code thrown at me depending who I spoke to.
    As I see it what we need is more re-runs of Huckleberry Hound.

  3. You have probably seen this film and particular scene, but I feel it is QUITE appropriate for here… 😛

  4. Those pesky police, interfering with the lards work.

    You know when some nutter actually does kill their children because of the godly voices in their head, I find it odd that the slightly less wacko x-ians don’t all say “praise jeebus” and “halleluja” You know like they do in church when the rev tells these kind stories…

  5. In the days of yore, I think children had no rights, if they had, Abraham would have been told to eff off and maybe even run out of town

  6. Great reporting. I have often wondered why when I spout vague nonsense to myself, and shout at passersby about their impending doom, I am the one who gets nicked by the police for it. I am just doing a civil service telling them about the great speargrass uprising. So I may need to get personal with a few to make then understand, I don’t know why they have to call it assault or invasion of personal space. Look I am trying to save these people. I know that when they try to put cheese on the great gods of greens in our world ( shutter as they do with the lord broccoli ) then we all will suffer the wrath of the greens and spend our days in the toilet room , sitting praying we will not offend again and it will be finished. Sad days ahead for us as his hair furour tRump is to be our king. Oh just let my bowels go and kill me now! Hugs

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