Trump’s Toupee, Just Minutes After Eating Him
Assville, New York. In shocking news today, Donald Trump, Republican presidential candidate, bigot, and all around shit-heal, was devoured by his own toupee whilst hurling racial insults at Mexicans during a press conference. “It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Fox News reporter, Ivana Blowyew. “Mr. Trump was proudly denouncing Mexican people and boldly proclaiming the superiority of filthy rich, conservative white males when his toupee began chewing him up and swallowing him. The more Mr. Trump screamed, the faster the toupee ate. Blood was spewing everywhere. It ended after about 5 minutes when the toupee swallowed Mr. Trump’s feet and shoes and let out a final, enormous belch. The toupee paused for a few minutes to let photographers in the room get a few pictures of it, then it scurried away out an open window. The whole thing was just horrible. Hopefully the toupee will leave other stinking rich, conservative, balding white bigots alone, but from what I saw, I’d say the damn thing has developed a craving for them. So, be on the lookout if you match this description.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Orange is the new hack.
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Indeed.
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Trumps hair was last seen sneaking aboard the USS Enterprise. Starfarers beware.
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It’ll eat all the bigots in the galaxy.
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I thought Tribbles were vegetarian? You learn something new every day.
If anyone had it coming, it was the Trumpster. Which rhymes with dumpster. Which seems about right.
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Damn I am typo prone this morning. I need more coffee, and less time on the river in 105 (heat index) temps. I did catch a big ass catfish though…
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Fixed.
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The Troubles With Tribbles: Starring Donny Trump as the meal.
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I don’t feel sorry for the late Trump
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Me either.
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Oh, it does not surprise me. Other ass holes has been consumed by their toupees and Mr Trump won’t be the last.
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Let’s hope so.
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An interesting artical on what’s actually going on with his hair: http://popdust.com/2014/09/19/donald-trump-hair-photos-mystery-transplant-combover-toupee/#slide1
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Naw. His hair’s a separate sentient being with a craving for balding, white, rich, conservative bigots. 🙂 More fun that way.
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I need to tweet this
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Please do. I’d greatly appreciate it.
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I already have, hope people take notice and visit you!
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You’re awesome. Thanks so much. 🙂
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Tell me something I don’t know! Haha
You’re so very welcome 🙂
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🙂
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This is hilarious! WHY are you not a full time satirist for some mag or something?
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If you know any who are hiring, send me there way. 🙂
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If I knew any, I would in a bloody second! I cried with laughter. For real!
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There’s more to come on Trump. This prick has really pissed me off. I’m a lot funnier in person. My mind is like lightening. It never stops finding humor in things. 🙂
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He is a prick! And you don’t have to tell me that, I’ve always said I’d love to have a nice long chat with you over drinks. I just know it’d be hilarious and sooo very interesting 🙂
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That would really be nice.
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Hahahahaha
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Keep it coming. That assclown deserves it all.
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He’s a true fuck head. Today, or yesterday, he insulted John McCain by saying he isn’t a war hero for having been a tortured POW for years in Vietnam. What a pussy. He needs to be a POW and tortured for years, the prick.
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I saw that. Now, McCain can never be forgiven for $arah, but it’s pretty low to belittle his torture.
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I agree. But to do this to the guy? I’ve always known Trump was a lazy, spoiled pussy, but this, and his insults to Mexicans, just put him into a league of evil all his own.
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Ha! This is something that could be in The Onion.
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Thanks. Thanks for the follow, too. Feel free to poke around the blog here. There’s lots more Onion-esque stuff to be found.
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For some reason, it won’t let me go on your blog. That seems to happen sometimes. Does that happen to you too?
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Weird. Click on the blog title and see if that works.
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Oh now it works lol i jumped the gun too soon lol
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Yeah. WP is kinda weird at times. Temperamental ole thing.
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Time for another update lol
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Hopefully the toupee will find a few more a-holes to eat. 🙂
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There are many a-holes out there. I hope the toupee doesn’t become obese lol
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It most likely will, unfortunately.
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That’s life. Good and bad. Toupees need to eat 😉
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Indeed.
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It was a pleasure meeting you. Have a wonderful day! 🙂
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Same here. You do the same.
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