The Great, Conservative State Of Texas Was Killed Today By An Assassin’s Bullet That Authorities Believe Was Fired From A Tall Building Somewhere Near The New Mexico/Texas Border. Texas Is Survived By Its Fellow Southern, Conservative States, Florida & Mississippi. Funeral Services For Texas Will Be Held This Wednesday On The Oklahoma/Texas Border From 8AM Until 7PM, CST. After Services, The Murdered State Will Be Cut Free Of The Mainland And Set Adrift On The Gulf Of Mexico Where It Will Be Blown To Bits By The Fire-Power Of A Thousand Drones Armed With A Thousand Nuclear Missiles. Rest In Peace, Texas. Your Conservative, Self-Righteous, Gun-Toting, Christian Bullshit Will Surely Be Missed By All Who Knew You.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
What? Texas just got shot? And it didn’t see it coming? Wow, I’m kinda shocked by that. Still, I shan’t mourn it. And even worse, I laughed while reading this 😛
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He Haw!!!! Jeebus, loves Texas!!!! Even though it’s dead now! Hee Haw!!!
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You wrote a wonderful obit, but did you mean to leave out the child out of wedlock, also known as the bastard child named Louisiana? Does it get any inheritance? Has anyone though to notify Its spokesman Booby Jingle? 🙂 Hugs
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Too much voodoo and witch craft in Louisiana to worry about it. It might hex me, so I ignore it.
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Good call. Do you ever hear from that booby Jingle? I know that eventually all come to you for wisdom and blessing. Hugs
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Haven’t yet, but there’s always tomorrow.
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🙂
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I swear I hit the shift key on those Texas-es. I need a new keyboard or something…
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Fixed.
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Thanks 🙂 I get by with a little help from my friends…
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$Amen$
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Oh man, I was born in Texas! That does not in any way imply I am a Texan, or sympathize with general Texan beliefs, or follow any Texas doctrine, or affiliation with Texas.
I am kind of glad to see it go.
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So that Jade Helm conspiracy theory was right?
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Apparently so. 🙂
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I hope no one got hurt. That would make me feel bad.
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No one who didn’t deserve it. 🙂
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It didn’t have a gun to protect itself?
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I know. Kinda odd, right?
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Unbelievable
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Poor Austin!
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I know. A bullet right through it. Ouch!
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LOL — at your post and your comment to John. Looks like your nested threads are set to one reply. Also, if Texas turned blue, it would probably take them decades to reverse the damage.
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My nested threads are set to give birdies a safe place to lay eggs. 🙂
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OK. I made the nest bigger. Bring in the ostriches!
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lmao
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Hey, from everything I’ve heard, Texas is is on the cusp of turning Blue. 20 Electoral seats! (Or is it more?)
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Probably why it got assassinated. 🙂
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LOL! True!!
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