An advanced extraterrestrial race arrived at the White House last night proclaiming they’ve come thousands of light years to free us from the chains of our false religions by enlightening us to the only true religion in all the cosmos: theirs.
“This fucking sucks ass,” President Obama said earlier today. “I mean COME ON!!!! We finally make contact with an advanced extraterrestrial species and they turn out to be nothing more than a bunch of fundamentalist religious zealots hell bent on converting the whole planet to their religion. We have enough of that type of shit already. We most certainly do not need more of it. And most certainly NOT from an advanced extraterrestrial species so far beyond us, we’re like ants by comparison. In other words folks, this is one religion we will have no choice BUT to accept should they insist on it. Man, this really fucking sucks!”