James Comey Tragically Shoots Self In Head 6 Times

James Comey: December 14th, 1960 – June 9th, 2017

Washington, D.C.    Just a day after former FBI Director James Comey gave his testimony about Donald Trump to Congress, he was found dead in an alley behind the White House with 6 bullets in his head.   “This is an obvious suicide,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.  “Clearly, Mr. Comey was distraught after telling all those horrible lies to Congress about his conversations with President Trump.  He must have immediately regretted his words, gotten drunk, purchased a .38 caliber pistol, wandered into an alley behind the White House, and shot himself 6 times in the head.  SAD!  Isn’t it?  This shocking and tragic act by Mr. Comey proves, without any possibility of doubt, that President Trump is the most innocent, most persecuted, most unfairly judged President who has ever, ever lived.  President Trump, and those closest to him, would like to send their condolences to Mr. Comey’s family and friends, but they can’t because they’re so fuckin’ happy he’s dead.  Good riddance, ya’ lyin’ bastard, ya’.”

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33 thoughts on “James Comey Tragically Shoots Self In Head 6 Times

  1. “Heinous fuckery most foul.” Christopher Moore

  2. lmao – don’t give them ideas!

  3. Did he set himself on fire after that? Those who kill themselves here are able usually to even set themselves on fire

    • He drank poison after shooting himself, I believe.

    • Poor guy. It’s obvious he was really determined to get away from tRump. Can anyone blame him? Certainly not me.

    • Hey Nan. How are you doing?
      No one can blame him. But I hear tRump is new to these things 🙂

    • Doing good, Mak. Busy doing things related to our upcoming move at the end of July.

      I hate to say it, but I think tRump knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s a sneaky, determined, look-our-for-himself-and-to-hell-with-everyone-else-except-his-family-kind-of-guy. He knows he’s “in control” and he’s going to play it for all its worth.

    • All the best with those plans and good to hear you are keeping well.
      I also think he knows what he is doing and has discovered he can get away with it. The Republicans want to be in power so much they will let him get away with murder

    • No, you certainly can’t blame him. Well, now that tRump has been, according to him, vindicated by Comey’s testimony, maybe all will be well. 😀

  4. Great post. I would laugh if I could only stop screaming.

  5. That poor bastard! Stupid gun must have malfunctioned somehow… 😉

    I watched with great interest much of the Comey testimony. While there were some pretty good moments, and it will surely lead to the asking of better questions of other people of interest later, I just never got the “A BOMB” I was hoping for.

    Perhaps the “A BOMB” was dropped during the behind closed doors testimony. Time will tell. I will not be happy until Trump and all of his appointees are dragged off in handcuffs.

  6. Silly, silly boy… Tripped, i guess

    • Yep. 6 times.

    • The official autopsy report indicated that the first shot was triggered by accident when he tripped, and the subsequent five shots were triggered by muscle spasms.

      When asked by an investigative journalist about his financial ties to Donald Trump, coroner Dr. Adolf B. White began beating the young reporter with his solid oak walking stick. Police declined to arrest the coroner, and the prosecutor’s office declined to file charges against him.

    • Excellent follow up reporting.

  7. LOL! And the press is still wringing their hands in confusion and pundits are debating if any evidence of a crime was found.

    The Republicans, by and large, are saying that the press needs to stop obsessing over this incident and move on so the president can get back to the business of profiteer . . . err, helping the American people and Congress can get back to returning the health lives of American citizens back to their rightful owners on Wall Street and returning the business of oversight of the financial institutions back to the financial institutions.

    Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi (politicianus Invertebrata) sided with the Republicans for “moving on,” because she believed that a deeper investigation might “tear the country apart.”

  8. He’s not out of hot water yet
    His feet are still small enough
    For him to swallow
    As Sheldon Always

  9. Worst case of lead poison outside of Flint MI seen in a long time. Hugs

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