Ask An Infant

Dear Infant, my name is Naked Johnny, and I’ve got a perplexing problem.  I sincerely hope you can help me with it.  I live in an area where there are blacks, Hispanics, gays, strong women, and socialists.  I want to kill them all with my big, Christian guns because that is, as you MUST know, exactly what Jesus wants. Should I do this, or will I face legal issues I won’t be able to defend?
Thanks, Naked Johnny

 

Well, thanks for the question, Naked Johnny. Before I can answer it, however, I must tell you about the feeding problem I just had. I was feeding happily on my mother’s left breast when she abruptly pulled me away and cried, “Enough! My nipple is sore. You’ll have to wait awhile before you can suckle again!” Well, I, being an infant, began to wail like a, you guessed it, a baby, and grabbed repeatedly for her other breast. She eventually caved in and fed me the nectar from her other breast. Thank Jeebus crying worked. Now, for your issue.  Piss off, ya’ big baby!  You’re nothing more than a whining redneck.  Stop being such a hyper sensitive snowflake and learn to play nice with others.  OK?
Hope this helps. Love always, An Infant.

 

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18 thoughts on “Ask An Infant

  1. Good advice, from the mouth of babes…

  2. Oooh, guitars. Oh wait!

    This guy should spend less on guns and more on room decor. Oh, and clothes, and a hat perhaps.

    No fucking pillow?

  3. That infant is not to be messed with

  4. Fire away, it’s Trump’s America!

  5. I almost didn’t read this post, dear Infant, because of the pic about the sad man about to shoot his you-know-what off with a gun. -shudder- Someone should tell his mother before he hurts himself. 😦

  6. Sadly with all these freedom of religion bills giving permission of religious bigots to air their hates and do their harms this fellow maybe within his rights to do as his mental masterbaiting jesus wants of him. If he is from Texas he could get a town award for doing it in public and get a sponsor. Hugs

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