At the annual Heaven and Hell Labor Day Picnic yesterday, Jesus, the Lamb of God, broke up a nasty verbal exchange between the father of Judaism, Abraham, and the scourge of the Jewish people, Adolph Hitler. “That son of a bitch!”, Abraham stated after the incident. “He was shouting anti-Semitic slurs at me every time he got near me. I’ve told Jesus many times that Adolph is just not “good people” and shouldn’t be allowed at these get togethers we have. The same thing happened at the Christmas party last year and I kept my cool. But I told Jesus if it happened again I was going cuss the bastard out. So I did. And guess what? Jesus gets pissed at ME cause I told Hitler to go fuck himself. I shouldn’t cuss, Jesus says to me. Try to be more understanding, He says. Learn to forgive, He says. Not everyone can bloody forgive people WHILE they’re nailing you to a cross, I said to Him! Some of us are human!!! Dude just handed me a Vodka tonic, patted my head, and smiled. That’s Jesus for you. He did, at least, send Hitler back to Hell without dessert, so He does have SOME sense of justice in Him. Thank God.”

Abraham Begging Jesus To Remove Hitler From The Annual Heaven/Hell Labor Day Picnic

Jesus Preventing A Brew-Ha-Ha

Hitler Shouting Anti-Semitic Slurs At Abraham