This Dude Was Sent To Kill Me
I’ve not been able to post this week because the Nobel Prize Committee has sent several ninjas and assassins to kill me. Thus, I’ve been hiding out in the woods of Michigan with some pizza, some beer, and a few comic books. I sent boxes of live fire ants to each member of the Nobel Committee because they continually refuse to give me my self-awarded Nobel Prize. Apparently, they did not like being bitten by the fire ants I sent them, so they hired professionals to kill me. Once this blows over, which hopefully will be any day now cause I’m running outta pizza and beer, I’ll post regularly again. Thanks for reading, and please, if you see any ninjas or assassins, don’t tell them where I am.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
That pesky nobel Prize Committee! They just won’t give up, will they? That nobel prize is so obviously yours…do you think they feel threatened by your superior genius? 😉 Must say though, I would love to be hiding out in the woods for a few days with nothing to do but read comics and eat pizza = bliss 😀
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It was a fun time.
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Well…the one thing about being on the run, by yourself, with beer and pizza as your only food sources, you are the only one who has to smell the farts! Hey, beer and pizza farts might be effective weapons against ninjas. Lemme know how this all works out 🙂
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Will do.
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I saw some running
I asked them were they going
They yell the woods of Michigan
I told them to stop for some pizza
They said they couldn’t cause they were in a rush
I haven’t seen them since
Ooops my mistake
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Why, you! I aughta…
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Perhaps the Nobel Prize Committee should take over running the UN?
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Good idea. They’ll tell people, “Keep the peace or we’ll kill ya’ with ninjas.”
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Exactly!
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It’s a great idea.
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Plus, being bombed by Norwegians is kinda nice.
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They are known for their violent, aggressive ways.
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Good news !!! I normally charge 4X the normal price for beer going to the woods. However for you , on carry out only , I will reduce the over charge to only 2X the normal price. For a short time as ninjas are rather good but I have heard they can’t track through day old pizza smell. Oh can you do me a favor.. if they get you don’t mention the discount. I charge 6X the normal beer price for ninjas hiding in the woods. Hugs
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Will do. 🙂
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Damnable ninjas! If you need to borrow a Superhero to deal with them, just let me know Sir.
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Send Nightwing my way if you see him. He owes me money too. The cheap-skate.
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You too huh, was it the old “It’s OK, Batman pays me my masked vigilante wage next Tuesday” ploy?
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Yes it was. I’m kinda getting tired of that line.
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Your secret is safe.
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Thank you.
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I absolutely PROMISE (hand held high) not to offer any clues (like discarded pizza boxes, beer bottles, & used comic books) as to your hiding place.
P.S. They should be ashamed of themselves for denying you this prize. You, of all people, know how worthy you are!
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Thanks for your support. You’re awesome. 🙂
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Hopefully you weren’t after the Nobel PEACE prize because sending a box of live fire ants would not have been the way to go…;-)
Happy hiding out! I’ll keep mum about your whereabouts. Hopefully you have a tent and a sleeping bag with you?
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I do. My prize is a Nobel for superiority in all things. I want it, and by Thor, they’re gonna give it to me.
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Ah, I see. If you survive the assassination attempt what’s your next move to obtain the prize? I mean, what’ll you do if they go with Thor instead?
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I’m thinking of a prank phone call campaign. I’ll crank call those bastards all night long so they won’t get any sleep.
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Can we refer them to this post?
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Sure. 🙂
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Those sneaky, socialist Swedes…
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Bastards, the lot of ’em.
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