Do theists bother you? Do atheists just piss you off to no end? How ’bout agnostics? Does their lack of commitment to either side offend you? If you said “yes” to any of these questions, then we here at The Arm Chair Pontificator have created the perfect toy for you, just in time for Christmas: The Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy!
Simply fill the large rubber ass, modeled directly from Kim Kardashian’s very own plush derriere, with chocolate milk, and you’ll literally have hours of fun. Here’s how it works. Let’s say you’re a conservative Christian who’s just sick of the disrespect guys like me, The Arm Chair Pontificator, show you. All you have to do is fill your Ass Toy with chocolate milk, come to my office in downtown Manhattan, knock on the door, and blast me with chocolate milk from the Ass Toy when I open it. HILARIOUS! It’s as if you’re carrying around a real ass filled with endless streams of diarrhea for you to squirt on your enemies every time they piss you off. So, for those of you not afraid to have some crude, nasty fun at the expense of people you don’t like anyway, buy The Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy from The Arm Chair Pontificator online shop. It’s only 29.99, that includes shipping, handling(but not too much), and a coupon for a free gallon of chocolate milk from Target. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.