09.02.18
by

I’ve Been Wrongly Imprisoned By The Nobel Prize Committee

Me

I’ve not been able to write many posts of late because I’ve been in a Swiss prison cell held captive by the Nobel Prize Committee.    Apparently, the members of the Committee grew weary of me harassing them, their elderly parents, and their children.   I did these things because the Nobel Prize Committee STILL refuses to give me my well-earned, self-awarded Nobel Prize for being an overall, big-brained genius.  I deserve this award, and I want it, along with all the joyous accolades that go along with it, $$$$$.   I’ve been prank calling members of the Committee daily now for almost 6 years, and all I ever get is an angry “Eff you!” from every last one of them.  So, in order to get noticed, I sent boxes of fire ants to their children’s schools and crates of venomous snakes to their elderly parents’ retirement homes.   Was this nice?  No.  Was it necessary?   Yes.  What was not necessary was the Committee members filing restraining orders against me and having me arrested and imprisoned for violating them.  UNFAIR!!!  I call bunk on them.  All they have to do is give me my gar-darned  Nobel Prize and all will be over!   I will never cease bothering them until this happens.  Granted, being imprisoned does make this more difficult, but I will find a way!  I swear to Zeus, I will.   Until then, I sincerely hope all of my readers will keep me in their thoughts and write letters to the Nobel Prize Committee demanding they give me my award and release me from prison, though not necessarily in that order.   I’m the most wrongly persecuted and maligned person to have ever lived, except of course, for Donald Trump.   Oh, I gotta go now.  They’re bringing me the rice pudding I demanded this morning with my lunch.   I’ll see everyone very soon.  You can take that to your bank and deposit it!  $Amen$

27 thoughts on “I’ve Been Wrongly Imprisoned By The Nobel Prize Committee”

  1. Have you thought of donning a ill-fitting ginger wig, shoving a large flabby pillow up your shirt and whining that it’s all fake news. They’ll let you after a day of that and fly you straight to the Whitehouse.
    On reflection you may prefer to stay in Switzerland…..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. I will try to infiltrate as a guard, once that is accomplished I can implement an escape strategy. It should only take a year or two to make my way into the system. Hang on man!

    …and Jim sending a file without baking it into a cake first, like that will work 😉

    Nan, I knew that case of thoughts and prayers would come in handy for you eventually 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  7. I have always felt you were a Nobel person. I love the fire ants idea, anyway to send some to Mitch McConnell and his crew of rethugs? Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. Nonobel is also available for those that fill out the ID10t form and submit before September 2 2018. Good luck on the jail thing. I’ll send you a file.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  9. Keep the faith, baby! We, your loyal followers, are planning to break you out soon. Our tunnel caved-in, so that was a setback; but, we’ve got other ideas cooking.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

Comments can be left for free, but cost $7.50 to take.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.