An Alien Invention
In stunning news today, Betty Fibber, co-founder of the Conspiracy Party of America, announced that the flush toilet, as many had suspected, was indeed invented by aliens from another world. “As anyone with an I.Q. over ten can tell you,” Ms. Fibber stated, “the mechanism behind how flush toilets actually FLUSH is far beyond the capabilities of humans to comprehend. Thus, the only logical conclusion to be made is that they were created by aliens from outer space. For years now, my organization, the Conspiracy Party of America, has been working relentlessly to find some shred of believable, tangible evidence to prove this undeniable fact. Fortunately, we haven’t found it. I say fortunately because, as any conspiracy expert can tell you, the best evidence for the validity of an extraordinary claim is that there is no evidence for it at all. For example, how do we REALLY know space aliens built the pyramids? Because there isn’t a shred of tangible evidence they did. As well, how do we REALLY know George W. Bush ordered the attacks on 9/11 and murdered, in cold blood, over 3000 of his own citizens? Because there isn’t a shred of evidence suggesting he did, or even could, carry out such a feat. That’s how.
Just Push The Handle Down, Humans, And Watch the Swoosh!
No evidence IS evidence. Evidence that extraordinary explanations for real world events are not only true but that they are meticulously, and perfectly covered up by very powerful organizations that lurk in the shadows of our world just outside the reach of any proof they’re actually there. Thus, it is obvious to anyone aware of the REAL truth that is out there, that flush toilets were invented by a highly advanced alien race. Humans are just too bloody dumb to have done it themselves.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
“Thus, the only logical conclusion to be made is that they were created by aliens from outer space.” -I agree with you, TACP! I can’t imagine how mere humanz could possibly “invent” everything else considered “modern conveniences”.
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Thank you once again for the reblog!
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I have a commode (of 3) that needs a total teardown and replacement of the necessaries including the tank washers and seals. So…do you have a # for these aliens? I think they would be better qualified to do the job. I have the replacement kit on hand so there will be no need for parts. 🙂
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I’ll shoot them an email and see if they want the job. They’re about 50,000 light years away fixing toilets in another solar system; so it might take awhile to get a response, but I’ll let you know.
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Thank you brother, you have solved a great mystery for me
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You are most welcome.
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“… as any conspiracy expert can tell you, the best evidence for the validity of an extraordinary claim is that there is no evidence for it at all.” – brilliant!
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Thanks my friend!
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LOL — well that explains it. No evidence is evidence. Thanks for the light bulb moment. It is sure to be life changing. 😀
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No problem. And, btw, I’m not making that bit up about “no evidence is evidence.” That’s a mantra you’ll find with many conspiracy theorists.
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Yeah, I was aware that you weren’t making this “evidence is no evidence” up. It’s comical that people will go to such lengths to convince others that their delusions are not delusions.
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Comical, irritating, and scary at the same time.
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Yup!
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It’s true that – bloke in a pub told me. Thomas Crapper was an alien also – not a lot of people know that! Bloody good read by the way.
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As was the Emperor Commodus from whom we get the word, commode.
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We know every important thing, from fire to knives, has been invented by aliens.
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True that.
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Ha! I was talking about the wonder of flushable toilets not an hour ago! I was wondering why Jesus didn’t let anyone know about how cool they were… would have saved a lot of lives.
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They would have. Imagine the stench in streets back then? Yuck. Thank science we’re living in the here and real now.
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