In stunning news today, Betty Fibber, co-founder of the Conspiracy Party of America, announced that the flush toilet, as many had suspected, was indeed invented by aliens from another world. “As anyone with an I.Q. over ten can tell you,” Ms. Fibber stated, “the mechanism behind how flush toilets actually FLUSH is far beyond the capabilities of humans to comprehend. Thus, the only logical conclusion to be made is that they were created by aliens from outer space. For years now, my organization, the Conspiracy Party of America, has been working relentlessly to find some shred of believable, tangible evidence to prove this undeniable fact. Fortunately, we haven’t found it. I say fortunately because, as any conspiracy expert can tell you, the best evidence for the validity of an extraordinary claim is that there is no evidence for it at all. For example, how do we REALLY know space aliens built the pyramids? Because there isn’t a shred of tangible evidence they did. As well, how do we REALLY know George W. Bush ordered the attacks on 9/11 and murdered, in cold blood, over 3000 of his own citizens? Because there isn’t a shred of evidence suggesting he did, or even could, carry out such a feat. That’s how.
No evidence IS evidence. Evidence that extraordinary explanations for real world events are not only true but that they are meticulously, and perfectly covered up by very powerful organizations that lurk in the shadows of our world just outside the reach of any proof they’re actually there. Thus, it is obvious to anyone aware of the REAL truth that is out there, that flush toilets were invented by a highly advanced alien race. Humans are just too bloody dumb to have done it themselves.”