Flush Toilets Invented By Aliens

An Obvious Alien Invention

An Alien Invention

In stunning news today, Betty Fibber, co-founder of the Conspiracy Party of America, announced that the flush toilet, as many had suspected, was indeed invented by aliens from another world. “As anyone with an I.Q. over ten can tell you,” Ms. Fibber stated, “the mechanism behind how flush toilets actually FLUSH is far beyond the capabilities of humans to comprehend. Thus, the only logical conclusion to be made is that they were created by aliens from outer space. For years now, my organization, the Conspiracy Party of America, has been working relentlessly to find some shred of believable, tangible evidence to prove this undeniable fact. Fortunately, we haven’t found it. I say fortunately because, as any conspiracy expert can tell you, the best evidence for the validity of an extraordinary claim is that there is no evidence for it at all. For example, how do we REALLY know space aliens built the pyramids? Because there isn’t a shred of tangible evidence they did. As well, how do we REALLY know George W. Bush ordered the attacks on 9/11 and murdered, in cold blood, over 3000 of his own citizens?  Because there isn’t a shred of evidence suggesting he did, or even could, carry out such a feat. That’s how.

Just Push The Handle Down, Humans, And Watch the Swoosh!

Just Push The Handle Down, Humans, And Watch the Swoosh!

No evidence IS evidence. Evidence that extraordinary explanations for real world events are not only true but that they are meticulously, and perfectly covered up by very powerful organizations that lurk in the shadows of our world just outside the reach of any proof they’re actually there. Thus, it is obvious to anyone aware of the REAL truth that is out there, that flush toilets were invented by a highly advanced alien race. Humans are just too bloody dumb to have done it themselves.”

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Roman Colosseum Was Built By Aliens

The Roman Colosseum Obviously Built By Advanced Aliens

The Roman Colosseum: Obviously Built By Aliens

Fox News today reported that several American tourists who recently visited the Roman Colosseum decided that it clearly must have been built by advanced aliens. “Shit,” said one of the really fat Americans with an extended forehead and three missing teeth, “there’s no way in hell any human beings could’ve built such a big thing without the aid of space aliens. Humans are just too gosh darn dumb and lazy. And aliens built them there pyramids in Egypt, too. No dumb ass group of people could’ve done any of that. Look at how damn stupid and lazy most of us are now. Back then it was all drinkin’ and sexin’. Not buildin’ and thinkin’. It was aliens I tellz ya, aliens!”

Only Aliens As Superior Looking As This Could Have Built The Colosseum And The Pyramids.

Advanced Alien Builder