Tag Archives: Vikings

07.30.16
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Vikings Attempt To Take Over White House

Vikings

Vikings Like These Attempted To Take Over The White House Today

Blue-Eyed City, Minnesota.    A group of vicious Vikings today tried to invade the White House and take over America. Witness to the PTSD-causing event, Melinda Muffinberger, had this to say about it: “I was walking my dog, Pussy, this morning when a group of 6 or 7 rage-filled Vikings got off a bus near the White House and rushed past me.  They began yelling, ‘America is ours now, bitches!’ as they ran onto the White House lawn.  Several secret service agents ran from the White House and opened fire on the crazed Vikings.  All were killed within seconds.   I’m almost certain the Vikings were not armed, but they were very mean and scary looking, so they deserved exactly what they got.  I’m deeply grateful to our wonderful secret service for protecting me, my darling Pussy, and our great nation.   I hope this serves as a warning to all cultures that wish to invade the White House and attack America.  F*ck with us, and you die.”

09.08.14
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Vikings Invade U.S. Capitol, President Angry

These Dudes Stormed Washington This Morning

These Dudes Stormed Washington This Morning

Four long wooden ships with snake-like things sticking off the fronts of them docked this morning about 150 miles from Washington D.C. The ships were carrying a total of 40 Scandinavian Vikings on horseback. The Vikings quickly rode toward the Capitol and stormed it. They were donned in bronze helmets and chain mail vests and were armed with wooden shields, battle axes, and 3 foot long tarnished swords. They rode about the Capitol knocking over mailboxes, shouting at elderly people, and teasing dogs. After about 45 minutes of this tomfoolery, the Vikings rode back to their ships and set sail for their Northern home. They said very little during their reign of terror, but promised they’d return and do it again if President Obama doesn’t send them 200 dollars each via Western Union by next Saturday. President Obama has not said whether or not he’ll be sending the money, but he said the whole event has made him very, very angry. “I’m mad, and I don’t care who knows about it,” he said.

I'm SOOO Mad At Those Vikings!!!!!

I’m SOOO Mad At Those Vikings!!!!!