Trump Pardons Self After Farting In White House

Poo-Poo Town, North Dakota.    Donald Trump pardoned himself after farting loudly in a busy corridor of the White House this morning.  “Yeah, I blasted a good one, if I must say so myself,” Trump said earlier.  “I had Chipotle burritos for dinner last night, and the things were LOADED with gas-producing pinto beans.  Don’t get me wrong, they tasted great, but they almost immediately turned to toxic fart gas in my colon after I ate ’em.  So, I pardon myself for blasting smelly farts this morning in the White House that literally had people running for the doors to get fresh air.   Like my Pops used to say to me, ‘Lil Donny,’ he’d say, ‘make sure you say, pardon me, after you blast smelly farts in public or people might think you’re rude.  And that, ‘Lil Donny, is something you never, ever want people to think about you.'”

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