A Quick Word From The Flash

Hi everyone.  Flash here.  I just thought I'd run by and tell everyone about the benefits of having super speed powers.  Well,

Hi everyone.  Flash here.  I just thought I’d zip by and tell everyone about how awesome it is being able to run at the speed of light.  In the time it took you to read the first word written here, I’ve peed, pooped, eaten a pizza, had sex with my girlfriend, and my other girlfriend, walked my dog, farted, belched, and looked through all your wallets to get an idea of who you, my loving fans, really are.  Yep.  Being fast as a mo’fo’ on crack is awesome.   To wrap up, I’ll leave you with this last thought.  I’m not really called the Flash because I’m fast.  I’m called the Flash because, when I scamper around at light speed fighting crime, I’m almost always completely naked.  I just LOVE being naked in public, and, because I am so friggin’ fast, none of the super villains I fight, and none of you, can see just how friggin’ naked I am.   A more enjoyable, liberating life I can not imagine having.  ‘Bye all.  Gotta strip, run, and go fight some crime.