Tony Stark says, I’m Too Fat To Be Iron Man.

Tony Stark Gives Tearful Webcam Apology

Tony Stark Gives Tearful Webcam Apology

Tony Stark, aka, Iron Man, gave a tearful webcam apology this morning to fans saying he’s become too fat to wear the Iron Man armor and will be selling it on E-bay.  “I’m so terribly sorry this has happened,” Mr. Stark said while eating a jelly donut and weeping. “Ever since Pepper Potts and I broke up, I’ve been in a deep depression and my only comfort has been jelly donuts and reading this really cool blog called, The Arm Chair Pontificator.  Dude who writes it is fucking brilliant! I’m nominating him for the Nobel Prize. He’s THAT smart.

Iron Man Sold On E-bay

Iron Man Armor For Sale On E-bay

Any way, the armor will go up on E-bay in the next day or two and I’m hoping someone thin enough to wear it buys it and puts it to good use.  It comes with a full battery charge and a 6 month warranty against rust.  I apology again to all my fans for letting myself go like this and I thank you for letting me be one of your super heroes. Wish me luck as I wish it to you. This is Tony Stark signing off. Good Bye.”

Thor To File Harassment Suit Against Hulk

An Angry Thor Tired Of Hulk Questioning His Sexual Orientation

An Angry Thor Tired Of Hulk Questioning His Sexual Orientation

Hulk Laughing After Calling Thor A Golden Haired Girly Boy

Hulk Laughing After Calling Thor A Golden Haired Girly Boy

Mighty Thor today announced that he will be filing a personal harassment suit against The Incredible Hulk sometime next week. “That green bastard has been prank calling me and sending me anonymous derogatory letters for months now,” the God of Thunder said. “In the last month alone I’ve received 20 crayon scribbled letters with multiple spelling and grammatical errors in them questioning my sexual orientation and my penis size. In addition to this, almost nightly, I receive 3 or 4 prank phone calls from someone with a growling deep voice calling me a girly boy and a sissy. It’s Hulk. He knows it and I know it. I’m a god, damn it! I won’t put up with this kind of silliness. It isn’t funny! I’ve asked him to stop, and he won’t, so next week I’m filing suit to make him stop. We’ll see who’s laughing then my jade skin pal, won’t we?”