Pope Loses Faith After Sneezing Very Hard

Artist's Rendering Of The Sneeze That Took Pope Francis' Faith

Artist’s Rendering Of The Sneeze That Took Pope Francis’ Faith

Vatican City, Rome.  In crazy news out of the Vatican this morning, Vatican spokesman, Fr. Phil Mebuttup, has announced Pope Francis lost his faith last night after sneezing very hard. “I heard a loud, ah-choo come from the Pope’s room,” Fr. Mebuttup said, “and when I went to see if he was alright, he told me he had sneezed so hard it blew his faith in Jesus right out of his head. He told me from now on he wanted to be called Robert Malinowski. He also said he would be leaving the Vatican today to retire in Miami, Florida. He said to say goodbye to his former followers, and he wished them the best. He also wished the Church good luck in finding its next Pope. As a farewell present, some of the priests in Vatican City have given the former Pope a certificate for a lifetime supply of Kleenex and a large card which reads, God Bless You.”