Well, SOME gay marriage that is. Fr. Tom McStrokin’, the Vatican’s chief expert on right and wrong, issued a proclamation today stating that marriage between members of the same-sex is not only acceptable, but desired. That is as long as the same-sex members involved are smoking hot young women.
Same Sex Marriage Approved For These Women
“Here at Vatican headquarters,” McStrokin’ said, “we find sexual activity between two smokin’ hot babes to be a turn on and beautiful. And because WE are turned on by this, and WE determine what is normal or aberrant behavior in others, WE say two babes getting married rocks! We are recommending that all Christian denominations follow our lead in this as well as all of America. The more hot young babes who marry, the more young hot lesbian sex there will be! And that is something we here at the Vatican most definitely see as morally righteous and healthy. Yours in Christ, Fr. Tom McStrokin’ ”
A Christian Conservative Nightmare Come True
As Christian Conservatives and Tea Party members have been warning, the legalization of gay marriage has indeed proven to be a slippery slope leading to demands for the legalization of other forms of nontraditional sexual behavior, at least it has in Illinois. Just over a year after Illinois voted to make gay marriage legal, hundreds of thousands of people, paired with horses and other animals of various sizes, arrived at the doors of the State Capital demanding they be allowed to legally marry the animals they’ve been secretly fornicating with for years. “If Harry can marry Jim, and Sally can marry Susie, then why can’t I marry the man or woman I love, though they be a sheep?” said Peter P. Enis, spokesmen for the group, Animals Do It Better.
“We animal fornicators are happy the slope to human depravity has been so well lubricated for us by gay men and women seeking the legal benefits of marriage for themselves and their partners. Now we, too, are asking that the same benefits be given to us and our beloved cows, dogs, dingoes, horses, and ostriches. What’s wrong with that, I ask?”
The Tea Party responded to this development by stating it happened as a direct result of legalized gay marriage, Obama Care, and the continued denial by Democrats, Liberals, and Jews that Jesus truly does hate fags, and, occasionally, lesbians.