
“The Arm Chair Who Wants To Do What?” Says Robert Mueller
In case anyone is concerned with my day-to-day activities, and who, for Christ’s sake isn’t, I’ve recently offered to make a plea deal with Robert Mueller and give him everything I know about Donald Trump and Russia. He told me, “No way, pal,” since I’ve not been charged with anything, and, in reality, have absolutely NOTHING to do with Trump OR Russia. This is kind of a bummer as I’d hoped to make a deal were I could be relocated to Hawaii and be surrounded by beautiful women agents who’d do anything I asked them to until my dying day. Oh, well, what can ya do, eh? Welp, I’m off to write threatening letters to members of the Nobel Prize Committee for STILL not recognizing my self-awarded Nobel Prize. $Amen$