I’m Sorry I was Naked When….

I’m Sorry I Was Naked When ….

1.)  …. I crawled into your parents bedroom window late one night to introduce myself as your fiance.

2.)  …. I delivered flowers to your 98-year-old grandmother at her nursing home on a sunny Summer day.

3.)  …. I played Santa one Christmas at a downtown dept store.

4.)  …. I applied for a job at the FBI building in New York in the middle of a blizzard a few years ago.

5.)  …. I borrowed your sister’s bike to ride around town with for a few hours and not returning it til the police told me I had to.

6.)  …. I showed up at your son’s Bar Mitzvah and asked if I could borrow some sugar.

7.)  …. I got pulled over for speeding and had to tell the cops I’d left my wallet at home.

8.)  …. I tried to hail a taxi in downtown Chicago at 4AM one winter night in ’97.

9.)  …. I tried to file a sexual harassment complaint against my fellow KFC workers during spring break from my classes at Harvard one year.

10.)  …. I showed up at a children’s birthday party in Chucky Cheese and demanded they give me a slice.