Black Friday Shot 47 Times By Police

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Anytown, New Jersey.   There will be no sale on the day after Thanksgiving this year in America because Black Friday was shot 47 times by the police yesterday while walking through a white neighborhood in New Jersey and killed.  “It was horrible,” said Sally Ballsman, a witness to the shooting.  “Black Friday was just walking down the street when two cops walked up to him and asked him what he was doing there.  When Black Friday reached into his pocket to retrieve his I.D., the two cops opened fire on him and emptied their guns into him.  They then reloaded their weapons and fired them into Black Friday’s supine body until they were once again empty.  I heard one officer say to the other, ‘If only black people weren’t so scary lookin, we wouldn’t have to treat ’em so harshly.’  I feel really bad for Black Friday and all the people who were looking forward to a nice sale the day after Thanksgiving.  Sucks that cause of police violence against blacks we’ll have to pay full price for our Christmas presents this year.”

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Police Admit: We Like Killing Black Guys

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In a blatantly honest statement today, Detective Iam Maidup, spokesman for The American Union Of Armed Cops, admitted that killing black men was not only something police did regularly, it is something they look forward to doing with great enthusiasm. “We might as well just admit it,” Detective Maidup said today.”We police LOVE to kill black guys. As a matter of fact, many of us actually joined the Force for the sole purpose of killing them. You see, so very many of us are racist bastards at heart who, unfortunately, were forced to grow up in a country where blatant, overt racism is quite frowned upon. We were forced to suppress our true selves and tolerate the presence of those we wanted to kill simply for being who they are: black guys. By becoming police, we now have guns, and the power to use them on black guys with total impunity. OK, maybe not TOTAL impunity.Black-Men-Killed-By-Police Sometimes there’s a grand jury investigation when we “accidentally” kill an unarmed black guy cause he was wearing a hoodie and walking down the street at the same time, but rarely, if ever, are we indicted for such actions. And when we are, NEVER are we actually convicted of any wrong doing. Not ever. You see, we’re the police. We’re here to serve and protect all people equally. Unless, of course, you happen to be a black guy. Then, we might just decide to kill you. Why? Because we feel superior to you, and know we can if we want to. The great irony here is, if you’re black and find all this cruel and unfair, so what. What the fuck are you gonna do about it, call the cops?”