The Nebulous

stellar-nebula-cone-nebula-stars-wallpaperI

Fear

The Nebulous

I

I

I

Fear

It

I

Need to

Know

I

I

Need to

Be

Sure

 

You?

You are

Inside

My

Head

You?

You are

Unwise

You are

Unsure

I

I

I

Need

Certainty

You?

You are

Not

Me

You

Hate

Me

You?

You are

Lost

I

Am

Not

You are

Wrong

I

Am

Not

You?

You are

Damned

Cursed

Dead

I

I

I

Am

Alive

All

I

Am

Loved

I

Am

Right

You are

Wrong

I

Live

But

Not

If

You

Live

So

I

Hate

I

Kill

And

Only

I

Am

Loved

 

See?

I

Win

I

Always,

Always

Win

 

Philosophy From The Late Sony Bono

“Three hamsters are running in three wheels at the same time. The first hamster’s name is Joe, the second’s Pete, and the third’s Sally. It is uncertain which one is causing the other two to run out of sync with the ones running in sync with themselves. Which two are out of sync and why? Which one is causing the ‘sync’ issue, and how long has the problem been going on? How certain are you of your answers, and why? BTW, if you’re wrong, nothing will happen. No one will care. No wars will end. No illnesses will be cured. No stinky poop will start to smell like roses. BUT, what IS certain, is that a lot of fucking time will wasted on a fruitless exercise.” Sony Bono to Cher, circa 1972

“Three hamsters are running in three wheels at the same time. The first hamster’s name is Joe, the second’s Pete, and the third’s Sally. It is uncertain which one is causing the other two to run out of sync with the one running in sync.  Which two are out of sync and why? Which one is causing the ‘sync’ issue, and how long has the problem been going on? How certain are you of your answers, and why? BTW, if you’re wrong, nothing will happen. No one will care. No wars will end. No illnesses will be cured. Poop will not start to smell like roses. BUT, what IS certain, is that a lot of fucking time will be wasted on a fruitless exercise.”  Sony Bono to Cher, March, 23rd 1971

Confined

confined in mindConfined within my mind

I grapple for a time

When difference is a given

Fact

Fact:

To be not them

Is a sin without

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Is given by them

To those who become,

Them

Them who are everything

Them who are law

Them who are

Love

Love which is for

Them

Thus, I am

Confined, within my mind

Grappling with them

To let, simply,

Me

Be

Me

 

 

Free Will Hunting

By The Arm Chair Pontificator

By The Arm Chair Pontificator

Except for having my balls squeezed in a vice, there is little I find more excruciatingly painful than reading meandering diatribes on free will. I’m continually amazed at the masturbatory essays I come across online, usually written by TruChristians, that boldly proclaim how free each of us is to act as we want, when we want, simply by exercising our all-powerful will. There is not a shred of empirical evidence to prove such a ridiculous hypothesis, nor will there ever be. In fact, all evidence points to the contrary. We are not free. We do not control our destiny. We did not choose to be born. We did not choose when we were born nor to whom. We did not choose which country to be born in nor in which century. We did not choose our race, our gender, our sexual orientation nor our eye and hair color. We also did not choose whether or not to be born with or without genetic defects. We did not choose whether we were born into poverty or wealth or into an Islamic, atheist, or Catholic family. We did not choose whether we were loved, or neglected and abused, by our parents and/or primary care givers as children.freewilll88 As infants we can choose nothing. Everything we are and need comes from outside us. Everything. We are not free. We are an accumulation of all our external experiences. These form our thoughts, our values, and the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. The few choices in life we have are not ones of our own choosing. I can not be an African-American woman judge on the Supreme Court, no matter how free my will is, as I’m neither a woman, an African-American, nor a judge. I could choose to torture myself and find a way through law school and, maybe, become some sort of judge, but, still, I can never become an African-American woman no matter how hard I tried. My choice of choices in life are not mine to choose. They were given to me by the world I was born into and by my parents’ DNA.

Free Will Shopping Cart

My Free Will Shopping Cart

I’ve searched high and low to find signs of free will recently. “Maybe I’m wrong,” I told myself. “Maybe free will does exist, and I’ve just not found it yet.” So, I got myself a shopping cart and went looking for free will in stores all throughout Chicago, my home town. I went to Goodwill stores, Sears, Wal-Mart, JC Penny, and even a place called Used Wills ‘R Us, but I could find no will that was free; none cost less than $7.98. But, then, serendipity struck, and I found one on Ebay for $7.94. So, I bought it. It wasn’t free, but I figured, “WTF, it’s still pretty cheap, and if a cheap will is even remotely close to a free one, then maybe I can use it to will myself into being reborn into a family of kind, loving multi-billionaires and live my life over in a much more comfy fashion.” However, true to form, all my $7.94 will helped me become was $7.94 poorer than I was before I bought it. I’m still me. My new/used will has made me no freer than my last one, and I’m now more convinced than ever that free will simply does not exist. I suppose I could steal a will from someone more situated in life than I, and see if it made me freer, but, even if it did, a stolen will is still not a free one. Thus, I must strongly reiterate my point: free will is a myth. It simply does not exist. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go check on Ebay’s return policy for used wills.

 

Everything And Nothing

big-bang

And then there was

Something

 

It wasn’t

Good

It wasn’t

Bad

It just

Was

 

The something

Expanded

More things began to

Fill

Its growing

Void

 

Some things

In the void

Were

Alive

They were not

Good

They were not

Bad

They just

Were

 

Then

He

Came,

And

Everything

Was, suddenly,

All about

Him

 

But,

Just as

Suddenly as

He

Came,

He was

Gone

 

Nothing

About the

Something,

Still there

Without

Him,

Had changed

 

It still wasn’t

Good

It still wasn’t

Bad

It still

Just

Was

 

Everything

That was truly

His,

While

He

Was,

He wasted

By trying

To make

Everything

That was

His

 

Truth is,

Nothing

Was ever

His

But

Him

 

The Ax Man

grass

There was a nothingness

Behind the eyes of the

Ax man

A coldness

A darkness

That just

Was

 

He watched her for

Weeks

From afar

Before he decided

She

Was the

One

 

He followed her

Home

One cold night

As she happily walked

Down the

Quiet

Street where she lived

 

As she put her

Key

Into her door

He

Appeared behind her, quickly

Placing his warm, calloused

Hand

Over her young

Mouth

“Do not scream,”

He said,

“For I am the

Ax man, and

I am going to

Set

You

Free”

 

She awoke in a

Field of tall,

Dead grass

She was

Cold,

Alone

 

Then she heard a

Crunch!

And a voice that said,

“Run, my prey, from me, the

Ax man

Before I set you

Free”

 

She

Screamed

But

No one

Heard

Save the

Ax man

Who grinned

As a

Bit of

Drool

Dribbled

Down his bearded

Chin

 

She ran as she heard

The breath of the

Ax man

Nearing her

Pant!

Pant!

Pant!

It went as

Thump!

Thump!

Thump!

Her pounding

Heart

Beat

 

It

Pounded as the

Ax of the

Ax man

Struck

The back of her

Legs

Knocking her

Down

With a

Crackling

Crunch

Into the tall,

Dry,

Dead grass

Of the

Dark field

 

She turned and

Gazed up at the

Ax man

As he raised his

Ax and

Smiled down at her

 

All she could see,

Behind his eyes,

Was a

Nothingness

A meaningless

Indifferent

Nothingness

As he brought down his

Ax

And said, “Now,

My child,

You are

Free”

 

Though free from

What

He never

Said

And

She

No longer had the

Life

To care