Check out these porn movies that will soon be available on The Arm Chair Pontificator adult streaming channel.
1.) The Godfather: Part BIG. I actually star in this little beauty of an erotic masterpiece as The Butler: A mysterious and dashingly handsome man-servant to the Godfather. A Mafia Don with a monstrously huge dick and an insatiable lust for 20-year-old women who dress as Catholic School girls. If you like impeccably subtle writing, stellar acting, especially by yours truly, and award-winning art design, this is the porn film you were born to see.
2.) Raiders of the Lost Quim. Join Indiana Johnson and his bevy of naked beauties as they frolic their way through the Middle East in search of good curry and the sacred, lost, missing quim of the Virgin Mary. This baby is loaded with mind-boggling CGI effects and actors so hot they’ll warm your blood for decades. You won’t want to miss it!
3.) Jesus Christ, Sexy Star. A Musical, erotic romp through the New Testament with Jesus, Mary Magdalene, and The Holy Spirit. If you think porn flicks and huge Broadway musicals don’t mix, you’re in for a surprise when you see Jesus Christ, Sexy Star. Just because the tenors are nude and sporting huge boners does not mean they can’t sing. And, baby, can these boys SING! After viewing this movie, you’ll never be able to have sex again without its soundtrack playing in your head.
4.) Mary Does Bethlehem. Join the Virgin Mary as she kicks in doors and raids the gay bath houses of Bethlehem wearing nothing but a smile in search of Jesus’ dead-beat dad, Joseph. If you like action with your mindless sex, this is the film you’ve been waiting for. As an added bonus, 80’s porn legend, Ron Jeremy, has been cast in the film as the Inn, and Out, Keeper. This is not a movie you’ll want to miss.
5.) It’s A Wonderful C*ck. Join George, The Wad, Baily and the rest of the townsfolk of Dickford Balls as they fight off the evil Mr. Pooper, a tyrannical fundamentalist Christian who’s trying to outlaw sex of any kind from their town. This film is sure to become a Christmas classic, so be sure to gather the whole family together and watch it when it premiers this Thanksgiving on The Arm Chair Pontificator adult streaming channel.