Donald Trump Declares He’s In Love With Himself

"I love myself SO much," says Donald Trump, "that I wish I could two solid weeks kissing myself!"

“I love myself SO much,” says Donald Trump, “that I wish I could French kiss myself to sleep every night.”

Narcissist Valley, North Dakota.   Donald Trump announced today that he is madly in love with himself and plans to marry himself after he becomes President in November.  “I’m friggin’ HOT baby!  I’m so good-looking, suave, and brilliant, that if I could make love to myself and produce more of me, I would,” Mr. Trump said earlier.   “Has anyone in America EVER seen a more masculine, more buff, more eloquent hunk of a man-god than me?  Of course not.  I LOVE myself, and as soon as I whip the shit outta whichever pansy, liberal, atheist, socialist asshole wins the Democratic nomination in November, I’m gonna marry myself and take myself to Paris for a 4 week honeymoon.  Thanks to all my supporters out there who continually confirm for me that I am as godlike as I think I am.   I….well…I was gonna say I love you, but since I don’t actually love anyone but myself, all I can say is..I kinda like ya’.”