Juno Space Probe Finds Naked White People On Jupiter

Jupiter Not Only Has Water And Beaches, It Has Lots Of Naked People Living On It

Jupiter Not Only Has Water And Beaches, It Has Naked White People Like These Living On It

Genital City, Rome.    The Juno probe today sent back pictures from the surface of Jupiter that are sure to aggravate Christians, Muslims, and GOP members everywhere.  Apparently Jupiter, which was thought of as a planet inhospitable to human life and consisting primarily of gas, has colonies of naked white people living on it on what appears to be really nice beaches.   “This is quite the surprise,” Nigel Stiffy, NASA spokesman, said this morning.   “We here at NASA almost blew our loads when Juno sent us back images of naked white people frolicking on the beaches of Jupiter.   These naked white people all seem to have rock hard abs, amazingly muscular buttocks, and fantastically developed genitalia.  I’m going home now to study these images more closely in the privacy of my bedroom.  When my investigation has reached its climax, I’ll report on my findings.  This is truly a monumental moment in the history of mankind.  We’ve proven human life exists on worlds other than our own, and that it is white and naked.   This is utterly astounding and, if I must say so myself, quite friggin’ sexy.”