Islamic Fundamentalism & Ken Ham: Let’s Compare



It was brought to my attention, that Ken Ham, Creationist and intellectual Neanderthal, commented, when I satirically said I was going to eat him for Christmas dinner a while back, that I was only picking on him because I was afraid to pick on Islam. Well, Ken, you were wrong. I’m going to pick on Islamic Fundamentalism right now, but don’t think that gives you a pass. I’m going to pick on you, too. I’ll use The Bible and The Qur’an to look for parallels between the primordial workings of your frontal lobes, and the withered frontal lobes of those practicing the hate-ridden, subhuman, bestial religion known as Islamic Fundamentalism. See, little Kenny, I pick on Islam, too. Stupid this or stupid that, it’s all the same, stupid.

Ken Ham: Bible Literalist

Ken Ham: Bible Literalist

Here’s how this will work, folks. I’m going to comment on two direct quotes from The Qur’an, and two from The Bible. First, I’ll quote from the Qur’an, comment on how moved I am by Allah’s words; then quote from The Bible, which Ken Ham says is literally true, and offer my comments on that. Since Ken Ham says every single word in the Bible is true, I am taking everything in it to represent his personal beliefs 100% accurately. And I mean word for fucking word, literally, as written, with no room for interpretation. That clear, little Kenny. Good. Here we go.

The Qur’an, First Quote: Christians and Jews (who believe in only part of the Scripture), will suffer in this life and go to hell in the next. 2:85

Lovely, ain’t it? Just lovely. And why, oh why, does everyone insist on hating the Jews? Man, those folks have had a rough fuckin’ ride. Hey! Christians! Yes, you! Christians! How does this quote make you feel? There are mother fuckers out there who believe this is God’s word. They hate you. Millions of people hate you. How do you fucking feel about that? Their “faith” is stronger than yours, Christians. Like that? Little Kenny, how ’bout you? This shit is taken literally by many, many Muslims. How the fuck do you like that? Oh, they’re not joking, little Kenny. They REALLY want you to suffer. Does that make you feel good?Quotation-Al-Stefanelli-religion-world-people-Meetville-Quotes-200125 The Bible, First Quote: Deuteronomy 25:11-1: If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

I actually like it when women grab my cock, even if I’m in a fist fight with another dude when they do it. Hell, I encourage them to use both hands. In case one falls off during the fight. But Ken Ham believes a woman who does something like this must have her hand cut off, without pity. Kenny, you violent son of a bitch! I didn’t know you had it in you. Wow. Literally reading the Bible makes me very afraid of you, Kenny. Very. You’re a psychopath. I’m just fucking around with my writings, but you, you take this shit literally, as God’s specific, unchangeable words and desires. Fuck you, Kenny. And don’t give me this shit that Genesis is literal but other parts of the Bible aren’t. The Bible is or is not to be taken literally, you violent misogynistic psychopath, you.

The Qur’an, Second Quote: Part One: Allah says that you must keep fighting until there is no more persecution and everyone on earth is a Muslim. Then you can stop killing people. 2:193a

Part Two: But if there are any wrong-doers around after you’ve killed off all the disbelievers, persecutors and aggressors, then you’ll have to kill them too. 2:193b 303418_472012259482844_2086843371_nCriminals get killed AFTER all the disbelievers. Nice. Whenever someone tells you, or you hear, that Islam is a religion of peace, and love, reread this verse. Reread it until your eyes bleed. Millions of people on Earth, right now, today, this second, believe, with all the power “faith” brings to people, that these words are true and are to be carried out. Combine this with the hate-filled, disgusting rhetoric of Fundamentalist Christians, and we have a really, really fucked up situation. It is not OK to give faiths or beliefs or religions any type of special deference as a society. Continuing to do so will destroy us. This kind of black and white religious thinking is increasing, not getting better. It is coupled with a powerful anti-science sentiment as well, and this is not OK. It is sickening. Horrible. Terrifying. And Ken Ham, you are as guilty as your Islamic counter parts in feeding this process. It will annihilate the human race and leave nothing of us behind if we don’t stop it. Reread the verse above. Now reread it again. Now, use your fucking head about how important “faith” really is to mankind’s survival and grow the fuck up. islam_will_dominateThe Bible, Second Quote: And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son…. (II Kings 6:28-29)

So, little Kenny Ham is a fucking cannibal! What an hypocritical son of a whore you are, Kenny. I’m writing over the top, hate or love it, satire. I don’t mean it LITERALLY!!! But YOU! You, Kenny! YOU DO! You sick fucking bastard! The Bible, literally! Word for word! Really, Kenny. So tell me, you sick twisted excuse of a man, how do boiled babies REALLY taste? You fuck! You dare call people who do not believe in your god sinners, evil, doomed, cannibals, immoral, and corrupt, and then say you are a devotee of The Bible, which you take LITERALLY! You sick son of a bitch. What a pair of balls you have on you. You know, I hope your god, Jesus, is real. And when you die, you actually get called out on all the evil you do, and all the pain and hurt you bring into the world by condemning people who simply disbelieve in your god. I hope Jesus personally escorts you into the Hell you condemn others to.

Christianity Is About Love?

Christianity Is About Love?

You, little Kenny, read the Bible literally. It is you who boil and eat babies, literally. And as far as my limited human mind can tell, The Bible, literal or not, was not written as a piece of satire. Fuck you, Kenny. Take a long look in the mirror before you ever think of passing any kind of judgmental thought on any of your fellow human beings ever again. And take a fucking science class, will you? The Earth is 6000 years old only, unbelievable.

Taliban To Sell Stones To Stone People With On Wednesday

Rocks For Stoning

Islamic Stoning Rocks

The Taliban, those humorless Muslim mother fuckers we’ve been fighting in Afghanistan for years, are holding a sale this Wednesday on the special stones they use for killing their women when their women behave like whores. “Stoning rocks, we call them,” said Taliban Press Secretary, Omar Yew Sukcock’a. “They must be hand-picked from the desert by two Sheiks, each wearing a gold tunic, on the fourth Sunday after each quarter moon has passed. Mohammad was given these exact instructions by Allah; not to follow them is punishable by stoning. These stones are very expensive, but a man must always have enough of them to stone his wife and/or daughters with should they choose to behave like whores and remove their veils in public or force a man to rape them by looking into his eyes.

 Taliban Press Secretary, Omar Yew Sukcock'a

Taliban Press Secretary, Omar Yew Sukcock’a

As any good Muslim man will tell you, women are devils, sent here to tempt us into damnation with their eyes and faces. The fucking sluts! Should one of them force a man to lose control of himself and rape her, she will be stoned to death in as painful a way as possible. The right stones cause pain first, bleeding second, and then, finally, death as the whore’s skull collapses, and she slowly dies while the gathered crowd chants, “Whore!” over, and over, and over, again.

Rape Victim & Whore Being Stoned

Muslim Rape Victim Being Stoned

The stone sale this Wednesday will be great fun. Men of the Taliban will gather to buy stones, and, when they’ve finished, they’ll gather again to tell great stories about the deaths of the whores who’ve tempted them. Praise be to Allah!”

Who Said Dat? A New Game For Readers Of TACP

Here’s a new game I created for TACP readers that has no intellectual merit to it at all and thus is quite proper for this blog. It’s called, “Who Said Dat?” and here’s how it works: I’ll write a phrase or saying, and below it list a few choices for who or what might have said it. Remember, some questions may have more than one proper answer. Make sense? OK then, here we go.

Jeff Foxworthy Asks: Who Said Dat?

Jeff Foxworthy Asks: Who Said Dat?

  1. I ordered bagels! Not matzo ball soup, you damn smuck!  Who Said Dat? A.) Yoda  B.) Muhammad  C.) Moses  D.) Mary Poppins
  2. I found an infidel behind a trash can praying the Rosary and I blew him up. Who Said Dat?  A.) Jesus  B.) Dr. Seuss  C.)  Batman  D.) A Muslim Jihadist

  3. I told them to do just the opposite, but many of my followers hate gay people. Who Said Dat? A.) Donny and Marie  B.) Barrack Obama  C.) Jesus  D.) Thor

  4. I want a fuckin’ Nobel Prize, and I’ll hound the Nobel Committee til they give me one! Who Said Dat? A.) Martin Luther  B.) TACP  C.) Mother Theresa  D.) Michael Jackson

  5. If caught raping little boys, simply say you’re sorry and you promise not to do it again if moved to an undisclosed parish where no one knows what you’ve done. Who Said Dat? A.) A Catholic Rapist Priest  B.) Davey Jones of the Monkees  C.) Ringo Starr  D.) Hilary Clinton

  6. Mind if I marry and fuck your 11-year-old daughter? Who Said Dat? A.) Muhammad  B.) Mickey Mouse  C.) Spanky from the Little Rascals  D.)  The Virgin Mary

  7. I saw a Jew poisoning your well last night. Let’s find him and kill him. Who Said Dat? A.) A Medieval Christian  B.) An 18th Century Christian  C.) A 21st Century Christian  D.) All of the above.

  8. The Earth is only 6000 years old and Genesis is 100% accurate. Who Said Dat? A.) An idiot  B.) A really BIG idiot  C.)  A guy who doesn’t get out much  D.) Ken Ham

  9. COOKIE!!!! Who Said Dat? A.) The Shadow  B.) Jesus  C.) Spiderman  D.) The Cookie Monster

'Nuff Said

‘Nuff Said

10.) Christian babies taste very good boiled. Who Said Dat? A.) An a-theist  B.) Mighty Mouse  C.) The Jew from question 7 who was poisoning the well.  D.) Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter